Music Sheet (Harry Styles)

Chapter 50 ~ Hannah

“Harry,” I whisper, enjoying the way his name rolls in my lips. “Please, don’t hang up just hear me out,” I hurry to add before he does something. “I really need to talk to you, I have many things to tell you. Please, I’m begging you, just give me one chance to explain everything. After that you can tell me to fuck off again, but let me explain you.”

I’m so scared he won’t even replay that I don’t know what to do or think when he answers: “Are you in your house?”

I blink a couple of times, surprised and a bit confused, but I shake my head to clear my mind. “Yes.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. You can explain things to me then.”

“Thank you,” I let out in a whisper and for a moment I expect him to say something cute or silly, like he used to, but he says nothing. He just hangs up and that breaks my heart a little. Maybe he is coming just because of curiosity, maybe he just wants to put things crystal clear for me and that can only be done in person.

Whatever the reason is, I put my phone aside and rise to my feet in a second, running to the mirror to see if I’m presentable. I cringe. It could be worse, though, my hair is a mess and I’m only wearing comfy clothes, but I won’t change. I won’t be able to pick an outfit and I’ll have a crisis in the middle of my wardrobe. So I just brush my hair and fix my makeup as I wait for him, not knowing what to expect. I try to organise my ideas, but I’m so nervous I forget immediately what I said first. I guess I’ll have to let my heart speak when the moment comes.

I feel it has only been five minutes when the bells rings and I run downstairs. Dad is at the garage, so Harry and I will be alone, no one will interrupt us because even Savannah is busy today.

When I open the door and I see him standing there, with an unreadable expression, eyes as cold as the winter, no linger of a smile and dark clothes that seem to match with his mood, I feel like I can finally breathe since that night when he walked away. He is here, in front of me and a part of me wants to jump to his arms, but the other part tells me not to be stupid, that would only make things weird. So I only stare at him, with my heart beating so fast I think I’ll get a heart attack. I’ve missed him so much, so much that I don’t know how I managed to actually survive and have fun with the girls. I guess I’ve really improved since I didn’t stay inside, drowning in my self-pity.

“Harry,” I breathe in but he doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me back. “Please, come in.” I ask next opening the door wider so he can walk in. He does and when he breaks the eye contact, I feel empty again. I want to reach his hand and take it in mine, tangling our fingers together, but I know I can’t do it.

Harry knows his way already and he goes directly to the living room and I follow him close behind, pleasing myself with the view of his back and they way he moves when he walks. I really love this awkward way his body moves with every step.

He takes a seat on the sofa and then his eyes are on me again, his expression still cold and emotionless and I’m scared. I know this is the moment to speak, to pour my heart out to him and hope for the best, but I’m petrified. What if he, in these three weeks, got over me? What if he forgot everything that happened between us? What if he can’t forgive me after what I did?

“So?” He asks and I feel my stomach twisting inside.

I close my eyes for two seconds and take a deep breath before stepping closer and kneeling in front of him. It’s time to be two hundred per cent honest. “I guess I should start with an I’m sorry. You were right, I was only using that lie as an excuse to hide and push you away. I’m the biggest idiot for that and I deserve that you hate me for that. A part of me hates me, too.” I try to laugh but I don’t get any reaction from him and I know this is not going right.