I am Nothing

Chapter 1: I am Nothing

I AM NOTHING. YOU CAN'T SAVE ME AND I CAN'T HIDE. I KILLED LUCIUS AND NOW THEY WILL FIND ME. STAY AWAY FOR I AM ALREADY DEAD. LEAVE ME TO DIE.

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I walk a long time until my body forces me to stop. Everything aches as I stop at a seedy motel and use my credit card to rent a room for the night. Luckily I remembered to get my things back before I had left the police station. I don't use cash. I want them to find me. I go the the room and shut the door. I don't lock it. I tear off the clothes that the police had got for me and walk into the bathroom. I stay under the shower and scrub until my skin is pink and the water is cold. I step out and wrap a towel around myself as I swipe the fog off the mirror. I lean against the counter and stare at nothing. Me, I am NOTHING. My eyes are wide and shockingly blue, so blue I sometimes I startle people when I look at them directly. My face is oval shaped and my lips are full. My hair is black and hangs to my waist, he liked to drag me around the room by it in fact. The bruises have faded some what and I have splotches of color from them all over my face. I take a breath and drop the towel, looking down. I haven't looked until now. Since I'm fixing to die I should face it. There are more bruises, a lot more. Several healing wounds since he did stab me once and throw me into a mirror. I turn my back to the mirror and look over my shoulder so I can see it. Clenching my teeth I pull my hair away and I stare at the words across my shoulder blades. Can see it even though it's been stitched up. My name is carved deeply into my back, all the way across. NOTHING. I let my hair fall and I step back into the other room and pull on the clothes the police gave me then I sit on the bed to wait. They will come for me soon enough.

When the knob twists I'm waiting. My back is straight and my teeth are gritted. I hear a curse as they realize I have it unlocked and they open it. Immediately they rush into the room and for the first time since that night I smile as the three men walk into the room and surround me. The first man in shuts the door. When I speak I startle myself. I haven't had words for awhile.

"I am Nothing. I know my fate and it is death so give it to me. But I would suggest a hands off approach I can't seem to handle touch anymore. Things end violently that way. A gun perhaps or a knife would be very fitting." I feel six eyes on me but I don't tremble as I stand and throw my arms wide. I allow a single tear to slide down my cheek but that is all. I look at the first man in the door as he takes a step forward. It's Lore of course, since it was his brother I killed. I bare my teeth at the look in his eyes. "DO IT LORE!!!!! I don't want or need any pity!!!" Throats clear and I look at the eyes, meet them, and see what they say. My arms drop as I start to shake. "No not that." Lore steps in front of me then he kneels and speaks.

"Forgive me Alpha." I say nothing but instead collapse into the darkness. Maybe I can stay there.

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I open my eyes and know I'm still asleep. You would think that I dream of that night and the nights before that but I don't. I dream of my family and the love I used to feel for them. I haven't been able to feel anything since I'd killed Lucius. I dream of my eighteenth birthday party. Two months before I went to Alpha Lucius to find out why I hadn't shifted yet. I watch as my mom and dad carry out the three tier cake. It's purple and black, my favorite colors. I smile as Mal, my oldest brother and best friend elbows me. His brown eyes are filled with mischief as he speaks.

"Did you do it?" I grin and elbow him in the ribs.

"Shut it or he'll figure it out." There's a bellow from inside the house and both of us snicker. Mom sets down the cake, looks at us knowingly, then turns and runs into the house. Ten minutes later she comes out with my youngest older brother Mack beside her. His face is bright red but the skinny mustache he'd been trying to grow is gone. Mal and I burst into laughter until my mom glares at us. Mack growls and punches Mal in the kidney. I growl back at him and swiping up my piece of cake I shove it in Mack's face.