Unconditional

1. Confusion

Ria's POV

I'm going to get married in 3 days, but it does not feel right. There is something missing, maybe it's the excitement? Happiness? Contentment? The guy I am supposed to marry keeps looking at other girls while telling me how much he loves me. Am I doing the right thing? I asked myself the same question a thousand times since I said yes to the alliance. I thought it would be like any other arranged marriage, but my heart does not feel peaceful at all. Does every girl feel the same? Do they feel these doubts as well?

It is difficult for all of us, except the ones who might marry for love. I don't think they feel this nervousness. This weird feeling. Or they might? Why are feelings so confusing? Why are humans made like this? We feel so many emotions but at the same time don't understand them. And when we understand the emotions we are unable to explain them?

I agreed to the marriage because Dad took a loan from the Singhania family, and it will be waived off if I marry Vikram Singhania. I had to agree if it meant that my dad gets to live the rest of his life worry-free.

He took out a loan for me to study, to complete my degree in interior design. I saw his struggles, I saw his sad eyes when I asked for something and he was unable to give it to me. He usually puts on a brave face for me but as I got older I understood his sacrifices and I wanted to help him somehow. I love him so much for being the best dad ever, I lost my mom when I was 12.

I missed her so much at times but I always had my dad. He was grieving her as well but in front of me he put on the biggest smile and tried to make my days better so I would not cry.

Now if I get the chance to repay it by marrying, then I'm okay with it. He is getting old now, and I don't want him to work too much and hurt himself. The loan is too much to pay. Even if I take a job and work hard for 15 years straight, I will barely be able to pay 75 percent. It's weird how rich some people are while the others can barely make the ends meet. Why is life like that? Why can't everyone have the same amount of money so no one ever sleeps empty stomachs?

I was getting ready for the sangeet party while thinking about my future and all these weird thoughts when Dad came to my room. "Think about this again, Ria, are you really happy?" He asked me the same question too many times, but my answer did not change, not even for a single time.

"Yes, Dad. I am happy." I may not know the guy, but I know his family is good, except for his dad. He married two women, cheated on his first wife with someone and married her later, and now they have two kids. I do not know how Meghna aunty endured it. If it was anyone else they would have been broken beyond repair but she is so strong. He says that I won't have to marry the guy I don't like and don't want to marry. I know what kind of guy I want to marry? Probably fictional. That's the only right answer.

I went downstairs and saw Vikram, the guy I'm supposed to marry, flirting with a girl. Now, maybe this is the reason I'm not feeling good. I just wanted someone who will love me unconditionally and only has eyes for me.

I was in a dilemma of my thoughts, all this while looking at him when his mom, Meghna Singhania, called me, "Ria, beta, what are you looking at?" She asked, "Nothing, aunty, just looking at the decorations," I said, lying through my teeth.

"I see, and I know you might not feel comfortable yet, but I would love it if you call me Mom." She asked me so lovingly while holding my chin, making me look at her that I remembered my mom. She was like that too; I wish she was here. Stop it, don't start crying now.

"You've met almost everyone, but there is someone whom you haven't met yet: Vikram's older brother. He wasn't there when you guys got engaged. His name is Mihir, and if you ever have a problem with something, you can tell him. He is the most responsible in this household. The only thing I don't like about him is that he's a total workaholic," Aunty said to me.