As I Am

Chapter Nine

            “You should have asked me,” I snap. “Not everything about my life is your decision! You already picked me up and shipped me where with you and Dad without even asking me if I wanted to leave home! Did you think I wanted to go away for the summer after what happened back home? Did you ever think that you were leaving for you and not me?”

            Mom is silent. She looks upset, but more than that, she looks angry. I pause, waiting for her to respond. But when she says nothing I turn around and head for the door. I expect her to call for me, tell me not to leave and that I should still be taking it easy, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t hover, doesn’t get worried, she just stands in the kitchen, not saying a word.

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            I head towards downtown for the first time on my own. I’m sort of familiar with the way after going through it a few times with one of my parents, so it’s not too hard to navigate on my own. On the plus side, the way there is also a straight line if I turn right from the end of my driveway.

            The day isn’t as warm as usual and I’m glad to have my sweater, but the breeze causes goose bumps on my legs. In the sunnier spots, where it peeks through the clouds, I’m warm but like always, the shadows are closer to Antarctica rather than the normal summer weather.

            When I reach the main beach, it’s practically empty except for a flash of blue and pink hair. I’m surprised that no one is here, even if it is a bit colder and cloudier today, but Hadley is the only one. I walk slowly up to her, hugging my sides with my arms to protect me from the wind. The ocean is full of whitecaps and the waves they tail are the biggest I’ve seen them.

            Hadley’s facing the water, sitting with her knees hugged to her chest. When I plop down beside her, she looks over at me, but doesn’t say anything. Her red-rimmed eyes are full of about-to-spill tears and her whole face is that dark shade of pink that everyone gets when they cry. She turns her gaze back to the ocean without saying anything to me.

            I follow her suit and hug my knees to my chest, this proving to be the warmest position to sit when the wind coming off the ocean is so strong. My brown hair whips around my, getting caught in my vision every so often. Hadley’s is doing the same, but something about the colours dancing in the wind makes the act more interesting than annoying. A small braid is tied around her forehead and ends at the back of her head. I make a note to ask her how she did that with her own hair.

            “I’m sorry for not being home that one day,” I say over the wind. Hadley still doesn’t look at me and I don’t look at her. I don’t know why she’s crying, but I don’t feel like it’s my position to ask. I’ve never been good with dealing being upset myself, so comforting other people isn’t a very good task for me to handle. “My parents made me go to work with my dad.”

            Hadley shrugs.

            “I went looking for you,” I mumble, still talking even though I just want to shut up. I think this is my way of trying to cheer her up, even though it’s not exactly the best way for that to happen. “And then I met Evan. He was going to take me to your house, but then I got hit by a car.”