when the stars align | sim jaeyun

29.

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The next few days blurred together, a mix of schoolwork, interactions with friends, and occasional glances exchanged between Jake and me. The tension wasn't gone, but it felt different. Less sharp, almost softer in a way. I couldn't quite figure it out. My feelings for Jake were still tangled, a knot I couldn't unravel. Every time I thought I had it figured out, I'd find myself second-guessing everything.

It didn't help that he was everywhere. We had mutual classes, so I couldn't escape him even if I wanted to. In the hallways, he'd always be there, leaning against a wall or walking past with his friends, the easy camaraderie between them making me feel like an outsider. Yet, whenever our eyes met, there was something... different. Something unspoken, something that lingered longer than it should. It was hard to ignore. 

One afternoon, after a particularly long and tiring school day, I found myself at the library. I needed a break, a space to clear my head. The hum of students studying filled the room, but it was a comforting kind of noise. I headed for a quiet corner, pulling out my books and settling into a seat. As I opened my notebook, I heard footsteps approaching, but I didn't think much of it until I heard someone stop right beside me.

"Jisun." 

I didn't look up right away. "What is it, Jake?" 

There was a brief pause before he spoke again. "I didn't expect to see you here. Thought you'd be at your café or something." 

"Just needed some space," I said without looking up. "A quiet place to think." 

I felt Jake hesitate, his presence lingering by my side. "You know, you could talk to me. About whatever's on your mind." 

At that, I finally looked up, startled by how sincere he sounded. Jake? Sincere? It was such a strange feeling. The guy who used to mock me for every little thing was now offering to listen? 

"Why would I talk to you?" I asked, though there was no real bite in my voice. 

He seemed to shrug, his tone casual. "I don't know. Maybe because you're always so... bottled up. You don't talk about much anymore." 

I frowned. "I'm fine." 

"Sure you are," Jake said, sitting down across from me without waiting for an invitation. He looked at me like he saw right through me. It felt uncomfortable. 

I exhaled slowly. "I just... I don't know anymore." 

"About?" he asked, his voice a little softer now. 

I leaned back in my chair, staring at the ceiling as I tried to figure out how to respond. It was easy to pretend I had it all together, easy to act like everything was fine. But the truth was, I had no idea where I stood with him. 

"I don't get it," I finally said, my voice low. "One minute, you act like you hate me. The next... I don't know. You're being nice. It's confusing, Jake." 

There was silence for a moment, and when I looked up, I saw that he was studying me, like he was trying to figure out how to answer. His gaze softened, but there was still a guardedness there, something he was holding back. 

"I never hated you," he said quietly, his voice just above a whisper. 

I stared at him, trying to process his words. "Then why? Why did you pull away? Why did you... act like that?" 

Jake's expression grew a little more serious. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table as he searched my face. "It wasn't because of you, Jisun. It was me. I didn't know how to handle things." 

"Handle what?" 

Jake looked away for a moment, and when his gaze returned to mine, there was an intensity in his eyes that made my heart beat a little faster. "I didn't know how to deal with the way things were changing between us." 

I blinked, unsure of what he meant. "What do you mean?" 

"Before, we were friends, right?" Jake said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But somewhere along the way, I started feeling something more... and I didn't know what to do with that." 

The words hit me harder than I expected. For a moment, everything stopped. My pulse quickened, and my mind raced. Could it be? Had he felt it too? 

"So you... you pulled away because of that?" I asked, my voice barely audible. 

Jake nodded slowly. "Yeah. I didn't know how to handle it. So, I just shut you out." 

I sat there, processing everything. The distance, the coldness, all of it suddenly made sense. But there was something else, something that still felt unfinished between us. 

"I don't get it, though," I said, a little confused. "If you felt that way, why... why didn't you say something?" 

"I don't know," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I was afraid. And honestly, I thought you'd think I was stupid for feeling that way. So I pushed you away instead." 

I was silent for a long time, digesting his words. A part of me wanted to be angry—angry that he hadn't just been honest with me, angry that he'd hurt me in the process. But the truth was, there was a part of me that understood. 

"You could've just told me," I said finally, the words coming out quieter than I intended. 

"I know," Jake said softly. "And I regret it. I really do." 

The sincerity in his voice was so raw that I almost didn't know how to respond. It felt like we were both standing on the edge of something, like there was a chance for things to change between us, but we were both too afraid to take the first step. 

"Maybe we should've talked about it sooner," I said, my voice tinged with uncertainty. 

Jake didn't answer right away. Instead, he looked at me with that same intensity, and for a moment, I thought he might say something else. But then, he simply stood up, pushing his chair back. 

"I'm sorry, Jisun," he said quietly, his voice soft but sincere. "For everything. I'll make it right. I promise." 

And with that, he walked out of the library, leaving me sitting there, unsure of what to make of it all. The space between us had changed, but there were still so many questions left unanswered. Still so many things left unsaid. 

But as I sat there, I realized one thing: we weren't done. Not yet. And whatever came next, we would face it together. 

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FINALLY🙄🙄