My 'Scripted' Lover

10. Complexity of Relationships

"So..." I started, trying to sound casual, as I stabbed a piece of omelet with my fork, "when is the next date?" The kiss from ten minutes ago seemed like a dream.

If it was up to me, I would have already declared us as boyfriends, especially after the earlier confession, but Meena was adamant to take things slow -we were at the table instead of on the bed, jeez. As I didn't want to rush him against his will, I decided to play along and organize as many dates as possible to make Meena happy.

He lowered his coffee cup and looked at me with love-filled eyes, "can it be this Saturday?"

Saturday? I huffed inwardly, there were six days to Saturday!

Meena's face fell with an anxious expression, "do you have other plans?"

Although I didn't understand why he was so anxious about having the date specifically on Saturday, I didn't want to pester him for answers. Therefore, I just shook my head and said "no, I don't have any plans for Saturday."

The relief on his face was visible. I also noticed his hand holding the handle of his coffee cup got loose. He must have been planning something special for Saturday, right?

Even the thought of it made sheer excitement run through my bones. Trying to school my facial expression, I took a sip from my cup, and we continued with his delicious breakfast while chit-chatting.

His existence was pure bliss for me, so if I could do it, I would keep him with me all day long, but unfortunately he had to meet with that damn witch, Madee.

After another cup of coffee, Meena wore his clothes back behind the closed door of my room, tssk, and reluctantly I sent him off when the taxi arrived. Well, at least I got a farewell kiss.

Trying not to think about Meena being with Madee, I washed the dishes and tidied my house. Initially, I didn't have to go to work for the day, but the director called me and asked me to come to check the video shoots before they were edited together. Hoping to encounter Meena there, I agreed immediately and got dressed handsomely.

As luck would have it, there was no sign of Meena and Madee in the company. Deliberately, I walked past the meeting rooms and even wandered around the offices of the artist managers, but to no avail.

With a foul mood, I gave up as it was almost time to meet the director and went up. After three hours of checking and discussing the sequence with the editing team, I left the office.

In hopes to meet Meena for dinner, I sent him a message and only after two minutes, I learnt Madee, Maprang, Pear, Mongkut, P'Jom (Mongkut's manager) and he were having dinner near the company. He then asked me if I wanted to join them. If it was Mongkut, I would go there immediately, but I knew I couldn't do that when it came to Meena. He was a newbie in the industry and he had to get familiar with his co-workers in order to be natural on-screen. Although I didn't trust that Madee b*tch even a bit, Meena needed to be good with her to gain contracts with brands. Also, if I went, the others (except Mongkut) knew that someone informed me about their whereabouts and we would only gain suspicion.

Taking all of these into consideration, I kindly refuted his offer and returned home, dragging my loneliness with me.

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.

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My sinister loneliness haunted me for the rest of the week as Meena went to Chonburi to see his family before the shooting started. At least he was frequently sending me messages and even photos of his house, his mother's garden and the neighborhood. We weren't official or something yet, but he kept writing "when you come here, we can..." kind of sentences which made me blush each time. If he was inviting me that easily, his family should be fine with him being gay, right?

Many times I wrote a message asking about this issue, but in the end, I couldn't press the send button. It would be too soon to talk about this and he could feel pressured, right?

Sighing in the face of the complexity of starting a romantic relationship, I decided to give my mother a call and ask about my father. When the same-sex marriage law passed, he made a brief comment about the traditional society coming to an end, so I wasn't sure about his stance. Although I understood his logic, I was confident about my identity and was never afraid to reveal it to others, but when it came to my father, I couldn't do it. I wanted to tell him many times, but the ambiguity of his potential reaction stopped me. He was already sixty two with one heart attack, so I didn't want to agitate him again. It was fortunate they lived in Phetchaburi, so I already had my privacy and freedom, and I didn't have to tell him.

With Mongkut, I had never thought about this issue as he would rather die than to meet my parents, but now it was constantly on my mind. As if being a subconscious stimulant, whenever I saw Meena's parents in the photos, my father's face came to my mind. Would Meena want to meet my parents? What would be his reaction when he learned that I was hiding my orientation?

I shook my head to get myself together. I would never guess, but Mongkut was right; I was getting carried away too soon, too fast. Like a stupid kid failing the same subject again and again, I never learned my lesson about love. The higher I dreamed, the harsher I crashed into reality, so I had to hold myself back, take things slowly this time.

Puffing, I put my phone back on the dining table. I lay my head on my arm on the cold marble table, not wanting to do anything for the rest of the day. I was hungry, but didn't have the motivation to cook or order something. I just wanted Saturday to come faster so that I could dissipate some of the fog in my heart as well as in my mind. But damn, it was already Thursday and Meena still wasn't here.

Knock... knock...

I raised my head, wondering who it could be at eight pm. Rubbing my numbed left cheek caused by lying on it for a while, I went to answer the door, not minding wearing a loose white t-shirt over my black boxer briefs.

I pulled the door open and as the barrier between me and the newcomer disappeared, I got a super pleasant surprise.

"Meena?"

"Oh hi, phi," Meena smiled shyly, but then he frowned, "what happened to your cheek?" he asked with worry as he raised his hand, apparently forgetting both of his hands were full with many grandma-style bags.

"Nothing, I just slept on it," I explained and moved aside so that he could come in.

He looked hesitant for a millisecond, but then bowing his head, he stepped in and kicked his shoes off, "I am so sorry to drop by without calling you, but my mom packaged so much good food and I wanted to share them with you while they are still fresh."

"Oh, thanks," I directed him to the kitchen with butterflies in my stomach. He was surely too precious.

"Are you hungry?" Meena asked as he put the bags on the counter. His voice conveyed the anticipation he tried to hide behind a soft smile.

Well, I was indeed hungry, but even if I wasn't hungry, I would still say yes, not wanting to upset that cute boy in front of me.

Seeing me nodding, his smile enlarged, displaying his perfectly even white teeth, "great!" he fished out some containers, "I have Chicken Satay and Khao Lam, do you like it?"

Of course I nodded although I had never tried Khao Lam, which turned out to be sticky rice in bamboo.

Beaming more and more in each passing second, he asked "can I use your grill?"

As if I would say no! With a little tour in the kitchen, Meena learnt where was where and prepared everything as he wanted while I sat in front of the counter watching him shamelessly. When he was done, we stuffed our stomachs with the perfectly-sauced Satay and rich Khao Lam. There were even fresh mangoes.

As Meena prepared the food, I had to do the dishes. I collected the empty plates, and while I was walking to the other side of the counter, I paused by Meena's words.

"Do you usually walk around like this at home?"