Fire In Our Bones (NovaHD)

Chapter 18

Aleks balled his hands into fists, stopping the shaking. Slowly he turned to Kyle.

"We need to have a talk," Aleks said stiffly, folding his arms and trying to keep his face neutral.

"I know," Kyle admitted. He looked everywhere but Aleks.

"Why didn't you tell me about Sam?"

"He wasn't supposed to be back yet. I was going to warn you about him before then, I swear."

"He's crazy, you know."

"I know," Kyle sighed. "Things are complicated here. I didn't want you to get caught up in everything."

"Yet here I am."

"Here you are," Kyle agreed.

"So are you going to explain anything else to me?" Aleks asked, raising his voice slightly. "Like why he said I couldn't leave."

The blond man laughed nervously. "Sam's full of shit. He didn't mean it."

"Did he not mean it when he was fucking strangling me? Because it felt like he meant it," Aleks reached up to rub his sore throat and Kyle winced in apology.

"I'm really sorry about that. Sam's a bit unstable."

"A bit," Aleks mumbled.

"Listen. He's leaving again tonight. You can leave tomorrow if you really want to," Kyle said shortly. "I won't stop you." 

Aleks got the impression that the conversation was over. He turned away, striding towards the woods.

"I'm going to take a walk," he called over his shoulder.

He had so many questions, but he was annoyed and angry and even a little bit afraid. He felt like he couldn't trust Kyle anymore and apparently Cooper hadn't been completely honest with him either and he didn't know what to believe. He couldn't help but think about the fact that no matter how annoyed he and James got at each other, James had never once lied to Aleks.

It hurt to think about so bad, but it was still so important to him. Aleks was trapped in limbo. He knew he had to let James go but he didn't want to.

Fuck, I don't want to let go, I don't want to forget him.

This realization swept over Aleks in a wave of sorrow and relief that almost made him stumble. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care. All his emotions, repressed and not were coming to a head and it felt a bit like a crisis, but a necessary one. Slowly everything in the jumbled mess of his emotions began to straighten out and configure themselves.

Aleks caught his foot on a rock suddenly and almost fell. His ankle complained sharply so he sat down beneath the tree and leaned back against the trunk, looking at the sky and wondering how he hadn't figured it out sooner. James was the catalyst. He was the key to everything Aleks had been feeling. He began to tremble with the possibilities, with the sheer adrenaline of uncovering the truth.

I love James.

Shit.

What had Aleks done?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cooper and James had gotten so turned around over the past two days that James wasn't quite sure where they were. James was becoming more and more discouraged and nothing Cooper said could make him feel better. He was tired of wandering around in the forest; sick of agonizing over whether Aleks was ok or even alive. He just wanted Aleks back with him, by his side where he belonged. James wasn't James without his best friend and although he would never give up as long as there was a chance that he was still breathing, he was becoming more and more sure that a world without Aleks was a world not worth living in. The thought frightened him but it was the truth.