Fire In Our Bones (NovaHD)

Chapter 14

Cooper leaned against a tree, arms crossed, looking at James. He scrunched his forehead, worried. James was sitting down, exhausted after wandering the forest most of the day with no trace of Aleks. He had his head in his hands and his shoulders were sagging and he looked lost and alone. Cooper felt for him, he really did. He knew what it was like to lose someone important to you, but James and Aleks had had a deep bond, even if neither of them fully realized it. Cooper knew people well. Before the end of the world, he had been a lawyer and a damn good one, and he had seen many different kinds of people. Angry people, sad people, mean people. People who hated each other. People who were in love.

Cooper sighed and shook his head. It was too late now. Perhaps he should have said something to either of them sooner, but who was he to meddle? Still, he should have done something. James seemed to have come to his senses, even if it was too late. Cooper looked at his dejected, crumpled form and decided that he could try to do something now. It might makes things worse, but he had to try.

"James?" he asked, sitting down beside him tentatively.

He just grunted tiredly without lifting his face from his hands.

"James, I need to tell you something."

The disheveled man finally looked up at him, his face lined with grief.

"What?"

His look of sadness was so intense that Cooper forgot what he was going to say.

"Oh, James. I'm sure he's out here somewhere. He hasn't been gone that long. He's fine, he'll be fine, I know it."

"But you don't," James murmured, closing his eyes. "I mean, he has to be ok, but just because I need something doesn't mean I'll get it."

Cooper rubbed his forehead. Poor James needed to hear a spot of truth.

"If you're so sure he's gone for good, then what's the point of looking?" Cooper said a bit harshly. "What you're doing is giving up on Aleks and he would never give up on you, you know that. I know you're upset, I know you're scared and that you miss him, but you're going to miss him a hell of a lot more if you don't find him and tell him how much you actually care about him and you're not going to find him if you give up."

There was silence for a few minutes, then James opened his eyes again. This time, they held the fiery glint that he had lost. Cooper smiled.

"You're right. Of course you are. And, Cooper?"

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something about me and Aleks. Well, me. Well, about how I feel..."

Cooper cut off his nervous rambling.

"I know."

"Really?" James looked surprised.

"Oh, yes," Cooper stood up and held a hand out to James. "Now let's go find the bastard, shall we?"

................................................................................................

James took Cooper's hand, shock coursing through his veins. Cooper knew about how James felt about Aleks? How could he when James had just figured it out himself? He shook his head as Cooper pulled him up. The man was an enigma and for once, James was grateful that he had found them.

James and Cooper had been following a river in the woods for a while. They had decided to look downstream first. If Aleks was in the forest, all alone, James imagined he would try to find a water source.

God, that image hurt. Aleks in the forest, all alone. He should never have to be alone, and yet he had wanted it, so that James would be happier. That made so little sense and James had been trying to work it all out in his head as they crunched through dead leaves along the riverbank.

Apparently, Aleks blamed himself for every little thing that had ever gone wrong on their journey together. James knew he hadn't exactly helped and it was killing him. Cooper had told him time and time again to not blame himself, that it would only make things worse, but he couldn't help but deeply regret every snide or even slightly cruel thing he had ever said to Aleks. He remembered how his dark eyes used to shine and light up when he made a joke or laughed at something James might have said, and he realized that he hadn't seen them do that in a very long time. James resolved right then and there that when Aleks was back, he would help Aleks become happy and he would see that light in his eyes again, whatever it might take.

James was startled out of his thoughts when Cooper stopped suddenly in front of him and he ran into him, almost slipping on the damp soil.

"Oof! Hey!" he muttered, catching himself just in time.

"Shhhh," Cooper hissed, staring straight ahead. "Stay still."

James did as he was told, even though he had no idea what was going on. After a minute of silence and neither of them moving a muscle, Cooper relaxed and breathed deeply out.

"Ok. It's ok now."

"Wait, what?" James asked nervously.

"I saw someone," Cooper muttered, shaking his head.

"You saw someone? It could have been Aleks!"

"No, no, it wasn't Aleks. Trust me. This was someone that we don't want to mess around with."

"You know this person then. Who was it?"

Cooper sucked in a sharp breath and avoided James' eyes.

"It doesn't matter, ok? We have to keep looking, come on."

James knitted his eyebrows, confused and disconcerted. Cooper had never acted so cagey before and it was obvious that he wasn't telling the full truth. James was about to demand that he tell him what was going on when Cooper turned and gave him a look. A look that very clearly said 'We are never speaking about this, ever'. James snapped his mouth shut and shrugged it off. They had to keep moving forward before it got too dark.

The forest seemed to get denser and darker the more they made their way downstream. The foliage had lost most of its leaves and it was on the ground in crumbly heaps that crunched loudly when disturbed. James realized that this whole ordeal had made him less and less fond of the woods and he missed being in a city, or out in the open. At least when you had some space around you, there wasn't the chance that a Creeper would jump out at any moment. Cooper seemed extraordinarily unperturbed, as always. James wondered if anything ever ruffled his feathers. There was so much he didn't know about the man and it felt a little lopsided since he had practically told him his and Aleks' life stories. Well, their lives since the freaking apocalypse. It hurt too much to think back to before. It wasn't worth it. That life was over now and it was never coming back.

We can only move forward now.

Through the gaps in the branches above him, James noticed that it was getting darker and darker. The trees were casting strange, twisted shadows that made him shiver. Ahead of him, Cooper kept forging ahead, so James did too. It was only when it got so hard to see that he almost twisted his ankle in a rabbit hole that Cooper decided it was time to stop for the night.

"You want to sleep first, or shall I?" he asked, setting his pack down next to a tree.

James quirked a sad half smile, thinking of the many times he and Aleks had argued about this.

"I probably won't be able to sleep. You go ahead."

Cooper shrugged and began clearing an area.

"Alright. I'll get a fire going."

James wandered around the area a little bit until he saw a glow and heard the crackle of flames. Coming back over, he saw Cooper was laying out a blanket. He laid on it, hands behind his head, looking into the flames, then over at James.

"You going to be ok?" his voice was soft.

"Yeah," James said, trying to sound sincere.

"Ok, then. Goodnight," Cooper closed his eyes.

James sighed, gripping the handle of his axe. Somewhere in the distance, he heard a Creeper groan. He wondered where Aleks was.

He wondered if Aleks was alive.

It was going to be a long night.