Bad Boys

Chapter 1: "Afraid Of Waking Up The Ghosts"

Chapter 1: "Afraid Of Waking Up The Ghosts"

I woke up to the sun shining through a crack in the blinds, the warmth from the sun on my face gave me a sort of comfort, somehow letting me know that things were going to be all right. It had been three weeks since I tried to commit suicide, or my somehow 'alcoholic act of rebellion' as my parents put it, but they didn't know how bad things really were, none of them did, they just thought I did it to somehow avenge my brother and sister's death, blaming them for leaving me, blaming them for my problems, blaming them for my parents absence. I guess that would be easiest blaming them for dying and my problems. The doctors think that I did it because I was seeking attention from my parents because they were too preoccupied with the losses of their only son and youngest daughter. None of them are right though, none of them knew that I cried myself to sleep every night since they died.

My parents have calmed down a lot more since that night, the doctors said to put me on suicide watch, they agreed, but I knew they wouldn't keep their promise to him, and I was right the first couple of days they stayed but later on in the week they were back at work and were never at home. They left me on my own. Again.

Today was my first day back at school since the night it happened and there was no mum to cook me breakfast, no dad to wish me good luck, no brother to ruffle my hair and no sister to walk with. Sighing I got out of bed and instantly shivered from the cold, it was a cool April day in Australia and the wind was blowing gently around the neighbourhood. I walked to the bathroom trying to ignore the deathly silence as I walk past my parents room, the shiver that ran down my spine as I walked past my brothers room and the tear that rolled down my cheek as I past my little sisters room. Turning on the shower and standing under the hot water calmed me a bit as I let the tears blend in with the water; they ran down my face and disappeared down the drain.

I got dressed in a pair of baggy sweats, a loose sleeved top and a hoodie that was once my brothers, much different to my skinny jeans, tight tops and high tops I used to wear when I actually cared what I looked like. I tied my hair into a messy bun not bothering to straighten it like I usually do and I didn't even glance at the makeup on my dresser as I walked out of my room. I was quiet walking down the stairs afraid to wake up the ghosts living in my house, I tried to hold back a gasp as I reached the bottom of the stairs, there, in the kitchen was my mother cooking breakfast the smell of bacon filling my nostrils immediately, I saw my little sister glued to the TV watching her morning cartoons, I could just hear the sound of her giggles as Bugs Bunny argued with Daffy Duck, my eyes shifted to the dining room where my dad and big brother are seated having a deep conversation about the war in countries around the world. I blinked away the tears and just like that they were gone, kitchen empty, lounge empty, dining room empty. All that was there was the gloomy light and cold air, I shivered again but not from the cold. Making my way into the lounge, I quickly grabbed my school bag and rushed out the room my sister’s giggles ringing in the air, skipping breakfast and locking the door, I stood on the front porch and looked up into the sky, it was cloudless and the pale blue seemed paler since they died, so did the grass, the trees, the fences, the roads, the houses, heck the whole neighbourhood did. Walking down the front steps and out the front gate, I grunted a "Hi" to the neighbour watering her flowers and she gave me a small smile in return. The whole neighbourhood heard my father’s shouts and screams when I tried to drink away my problems, they all knew, the whole town knew....that means that the whole school would know too. This, this is my life now. I lost two people and ended up losing my whole family.