Only Shadows

Chapter 20, Part 2

Trigger Warning: Brief mention of previous SA

James, approximately 10 months before the disappearance

"What?" James's mouth dropped open. He jerked his head to look at Austin, who stared back, dead serious.

"I was raised Amish. They kicked me out when I was fifteen."

Of the things he'd imagined - turned none of it was even close.

"You can close your mouth now. Want a hit?"

James nodded as he numbly took the joint. He'd only had pot once before when someone at school passed out a bunch of gummies as a prank, but why not? He inhaled and immediately began coughing.

"Not too much for you, then," Austin said, taking the joint from him.

James grabbed a water bottle from his backpack and took a swig. "One more," he croaked.

Shrugging, he passed the joint back. James managed to keep it together this time.

Austin took another drag before pinching it out and setting it aside. "Not too much for me either," he said with a cough. "Water?"

He held the bottle just out of reach. "Where do you live?"

"Around."

James raised an eyebrow.

"Fine." He coughed again. "I bounce between places. Couch surf with guys I work with, mostly. Keep a locker at the truck stop near the edge of town."

"The place you took me after we went to Heritage Hall?" he asked, handing the water over.

"Yeah." Austin drank deeply, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth before returning the bottle. "Last place I crashed, some guy swiped my cash. Don't stash much in the locker 'cause I'm worried someone'll steal it." He gave a half-laugh. "Kinda ironic."

"When was that?"

"Last week."

"Last week!" James frowned. He'd had no money for an entire week? "Why didn't you say something? I could've helped."

"How? You ain't got much either, right? And the way you describe your family... doubt I can stay with you."

James shifted to face Austin fully, resting a hand on his arm. "I still would have figured out a way to help."

Austin swallowed, his eyes moist. "I, I've learned to rely on myself. Been two years now."

Two years? He couldn't even imagine being that alone. "I...." Now he couldn't find the words.

Austin reached up and clasped the hand James had laid on his arm, pulling it down to his knee. His palm felt warm, still trembling. James rubbed his thumb across the back of Austin's hand, hyper-aware of the feeling of his calloused palm and racing pulse. A warm breeze brushed across his face. His skin tingled, head light. What could he possibly say that would make it better? That would convey everything he'd been feeling these past few weeks? "Tell me the rest," he murmured.

"A friend of the guy I stayed with took the money. Not really a friend, dealer is more like it. Those dudes smoked up a lot." His grip tightened. "At first, I was furious. But I calmed down eventually. Didn't want to do anything stupid because that could be it, you know? Who's gonna come looking for me if something happens? Who'd even know I was gone?"

"Me," James whispered. "I would."

Austin's eyes flicked up. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Anyway, figured out where the guy lived. And get this... that asshole just had a stack of cash on the table. Right in the open, like he didn't even worry. His mistake, cause I grabbed it when he was in the shower. Roommate came home while I was slipping out the window. That's when I took off."