Heartbeats and Algorithms

Chapter 6: Lingering Thoughts

Jasmine

I hadn't expected to see Xavier standing at my door with a bag of groceries and a cup of tea. It wasn't like him to just show up unannounced, but there he was, checking in on me like I was some fragile patient. Part of me appreciated it—more than I wanted to admit—but another part of me resented it. I hated feeling weak. I wasn't used to people worrying about me this way. I wasn't used to *him* worrying about me.

Ever since my birthday, things had felt different between us. That night had been a blur—too much to drink, too little sleep, and the embarrassing moment where I had almost blacked out. And here he was, showing up at my apartment, a constant reminder that I wasn't invincible. I wasn't used to anyone looking out for me like this. It made me feel... conflicted.

After he left, I sat on the couch, staring at the tea he had brought. The herbal smell was comforting, and I couldn't help but smile as I took a sip. He was thoughtful, I'd give him that. Xavier wasn't just checking in on me like a concerned doctor—he seemed genuinely worried, and it threw me off.

My phone buzzed on the coffee table, pulling me out of my thoughts. I reached for it, glancing at the screen to see a message from Alana:

*How are you feeling today? Xavier told me he stopped by.*

I sighed, wondering how much she knew about his impromptu visit. Alana had always been the protective type, especially since I hadn't been feeling well after my birthday. But now it seemed like she had Xavier keeping tabs on me too, whether I liked it or not.

*I'm fine. Just resting like I'm supposed to. He's being overdramatic,* I typed back, though deep down I knew that wasn't entirely true.

I set the phone down and leaned back on the couch, closing my eyes. I hated the feeling of being watched over. It was uncomfortable—like I was under a microscope, and every little action was being analyzed. But more than that, it made me feel vulnerable, and that wasn't something I handled well.

Growing up, I'd always been the one to take care of things. I was the responsible one, the fixer, the person people turned to when they needed help. Now here I was, the one who needed looking after, and it didn't sit right with me. Not at all.

But Xavier... he made it hard to stay upset. There was something about the way he handled me—gentle but firm. He wasn't condescending or overbearing, even when I tried to brush him off. And it wasn't just about my health. It felt like he genuinely cared about how I was doing, beyond just the surface level.

I sat up, shaking my head. I couldn't let myself think like this. Xavier and I were just acquaintances, connected through Alana. He was being nice because that's what doctors did, right? They cared for their patients. That's all it was.

But why did it feel different?

I got up from the couch, needing to do something to distract myself from the thoughts swirling in my head. I moved to the kitchen, where the groceries Xavier had brought were still sitting on the counter. The familiar action of chopping vegetables and preparing a simple meal helped calm my mind, but even as I focused on the task in front of me, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I thought about the way he looked at me when I had almost fainted in the grocery store—his eyes full of concern. I thought about how he had insisted on driving me home, even when I tried to convince him I was fine. And I thought about how he had made that soup for me, quietly taking care of things without asking for anything in return.

I hated that it made me feel something. I didn't want to feel anything. Especially not for someone like Xavier—someone who was clearly too good at what he did. He was calm, confident, and had this way of making people feel safe. It was unnerving how easily he slipped into that role, how naturally he had taken on the responsibility of looking out for me. But I wasn't used to being the one who needed protecting.

After dinner, I settled back onto the couch, curling up with a blanket. My phone buzzed again, and this time it wasn't Alana—it was Xavier.

*How's the tea working out?*

I stared at the message for a minute, unsure how to respond. I wasn't used to people checking in on me like this. It made my chest tighten in a way I couldn't quite describe. I didn't want to rely on him, but at the same time, I didn't want to push him away. Not when he was making it so easy to let him in.

*It's good. Thanks for bringing it over.* I typed, my fingers hesitating over the keyboard. *You didn't have to.*

A few seconds later, his reply came through: *I know. But I wanted to.*

That was it. Simple, straightforward, and impossible to argue with. I found myself smiling, despite the irritation I felt toward myself for letting him get under my skin.

I set the phone down, pulling the blanket tighter around me. The apartment was quiet, and for the first time in a while, I let myself relax. Maybe it wasn't so bad to let someone else take care of things, even if just for a little while. Maybe I didn't have to be the strong one all the time.

But still... the way Xavier had slipped into my life so seamlessly, the way he had shown up when I least expected it—it unnerved me. And yet, it also felt oddly comforting, like I could finally let go of the reins for once.

I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle in. The tea had done its job, soothing both my body and my mind. As I drifted off to sleep, one thought lingered in my mind, stubborn and persistent:

Why did Xavier care so much?

And why was I starting to care that he did?