When I'm Gone

Chapter 2

[EDITED. Last edit: 18th November 2015]

She's not sorry.

Nor will she ever be.

*****************************

Alisa.

Perfect, amazing, wild Alisa. Or so they thought. She hated me from the moment she set eyes on me. She even took away my confidence. All of it. I used to love dance, love gymnastics, love art. Alisa took away everything.

Bitch.

She took all my friends from me. Well, except Risa and a few other people. And now that I'm gone, I realise she even took my life from me.

You know how some girls say that they don't care about a certain person that they really hate? They lied. Which is why I'm stalking Alisa now. Yes, I know I have a very strong stalker game.

******************************

School.

Where it all started. Where I am now. 

Watching her raise her hand to answer the question, like the "good girl" she is, and noticing the way her long, soft, brown curls cascade over her shoulder as her hand shoots up. And with every second that passes, I swear I hate her more than ever.

Pfft. Of course she got the question correct. Smartass.

"Well done, Alisa. Your performance in class has been remarkable this week," says Mrs Kilson, with what appears to be a smile but looks like she's trying to hide a lip infection instead.

God, I hate this school. Just then, the bell rings and it's time for lunch. Before leaving class, I overhear Alisa saying, "My performance in class has only been good this week because no one is left to worry my brain with her stupidity, if you know who I mean." She then let's out a laugh so evil that the Wicked Witch of the West's evilness cannot even compare to her laughter.

Shit.

Is she talking about... me?

'Cause if she is...

Oh no she didn't.

Knowing that she can't see or hear me, or feel me, for this matter, I run up to her and slap her repeatedly and scream names that would burn a hole right through the page if they were ever written. Sure, she can't feel me, or hear me, but it helps me feel better.

Who knew that the dead (or undead, in my case) still had anger management issues?

Suddenly, she hands over her books to her friend, and does the fakest smile I've ever seen, and says in a voice as sweet as sugared poisoned honey, "Hi."

And even before I follow her eyes, I know who she's talking to.

That cheeky smile. That messy long mop of hair. The mole 3cm diagonally below his left eye. (Please note the strong stalker game.) Those dimples.

Jay.

But he wasn't always Alisa's. He was mine, until Alisa stole him, too.

**************************

Jay was my neighbour. He moved in when I was around six and we were friends ever since. However, there was a time where we were more than friends. Those times were perfect. Well, almost perfect. I liked him. And he liked me more. We might have started dating, but a) we weren't ready, and b) we were too young anyway.

Until Alisa came along, and he chose her over me.

Screw her.

And I might have said 'Screw him, too' but the thing is... I still have feelings for him. And I always will. But enough talk about him. I think I'll go home now.

*************************

It's been so long since I last slept. Every time I sleep when dead, the memories come rushing back. Not clearly, which is good, but the memories are still there, which is pretty bad. But today, I'm so tired I don't even care anymore.

Oh shit. Here come those blurry memories....

*****************************

"Ugh! I can't find that one missing piece! You idiot, did you hide it somewhere?"

Jay and I are 8 and playing with Lego. And apparently, I'm pissed at him.

"No! It's all your fault!! You were the one who wanted to take care of it!"

He's so cute when he's pissed. Probably why I like him, considering that I piss him off (playfully) all the time. I open my mouth to respond, but at that moment my mother walks into the room and I awake with a jolt.

My mother.