Invisible String || PURINZ

18 • the lie

"I'm sorry."

Yunjin's eyes widened. "Hey, don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry," She whispered, pressing a warm kiss against the other's forehead.

Chaewon's eyes travelled across the other members. She hated the way they looked at her.

"Can we go?" She asked, brushing the tears off her cheek. Her chest was still rising rapidly, but not nearly as fast as a minute ago.

Yunjin slowly nodded. "Yeah, we can... we can go." She answered, holding onto the girl as she pushed herself off the wall.

I should be stronger.

Chaewon looked at Kazuha, who bit down on her nails.

Her heart ached.

"Just us, please." Chaewon quietly begged, leaning her head against Yunjin's shoulder as they moved down the hall.

"Okay," Her girlfriend whispered back. "Will you make it to the cab by yourself? I'll talk to them."

Sucking in a deep breath, she looked at her trembling hands after Yunjin let her go.

What a miserable mess.

"Yeah." She muttered, sliding her hand over the wall for support as she moved ahead.

She could feels Yunjin's eyes burning through her skull before she turned around to talk to the others.

How embarrassing.

—x—

Chaewon didn't want to know what Yunjin had told the others. She was grateful to be back in their hotel, where the silence was much more of a comfort than everything going on at the fanmeet venue.

She felt very cold in the car; she was rubbing her arms all the way home, and even while she was sitting on the couch under a blanket, that cold feeling managed to latch onto every part of her body.

Yunjin offered her something to drink, and some food. And she was incredibly grateful for her caring girlfriend, but the shame made her stomach twist and turn in ways that she felt like any food she would touch would immediately leave her stomach.

So she stared at the floor in silence, clutching the blanket that she had wrapped around herself tightly.

"I'm worried about you," Yunjin softly said as she rubbed her girlfriends back.

Chaewon swallowed, even though her throat felt completely dry.

"I've been noticing things– small things. But you kept saying you're fine, and I just..." The other muttered, her eyes pinned on the girl.

"Why did you lie?"

Don't do this.

"I could've done something if I knew. I love you, Chaewon, you know I'm always here for you. So why would you lie about this? I don't understand."

She couldn't look up to meet Yunjin's eyes.

"I'm fine, Yunjin. I don't know what happened, I freaked out. It won't– I won't let it happen again," Chaewon quietly said.

Yunjin's hand dropped to the cushions, leaving the short girl's back with an even colder feeling. "Don't do this," She said. Chaewon could hear the disappointment in her tone.

"What do you want me to say, Yunjin? I signed the fucking contract, I'm the leader of this group and you guys are my life. I can't fail," The girl looked up.

Yunjin was holding back tears. Her cheeks were rosy, and corners of her lips were downturned. Somehow seeing her upset was much worse.

"You're not failing. It's okay to take a break, Chae. The world didn't end when you were sick that time, did it?" The girl said, her lip trembling a little.