Pan's Tiger

Chapter 10: Lost Girl Games

But my mind never failed to slip back to Oliver. Unlike anyone else in the entire world, when I miss him, I don't have to go far except look inside my heart because that's where I'll find him.

What is the colour of love? Black is the color of depression boiling deep into the night; red is the color of anger a blinding, flashing light; green is the color of jealousy of menace in the eyes; blue is the color of tears falling like rain from the sky; brown is the color of Peter's hair, soft and warm to touch; purple is the colour of vexation when Peter hurt me so much; yellow is the color of the Oliver's bright shine which I can no longer see. But all the color of the rainbow won't bring Oliver back to me.

Distractedly, I went back to cleaning myself. I scrubbed my body numb with the soap, like I could remove everything deeper inside of me with it. It was like I could use the soap to remove all of the pain and loss I had experienced. I slipped over to the shallows and sat in the pool, combing through my hair until all the tangles were gone and it was silky once more.

'Shouldn't you cover yourself more than that in the water, Tiger Lily? Thank goodness for the soapy bubbles.' Came a familiar voice behind me, mocking me gently, but with a sincere undertone as it was true: anyone could have pranced through the into the clearing at any time and see me like this. If Pan had seen them see me, the Lost Boy would be dead before they could even scream.

'Shouldn't you announce your arrival into this place before entering it?' I teased in return, a small smile tugging on my lips at the sound of Peter's voice.

A shiver run up my spine, despite the warm water. I glared at him, pretending to hate him much more than I actually did because if you do this, eventually it begins to come true. I didn't want to like him, because then he could use any kind of sentimental feelings I had for him against me. I couldn't let myself be weak.

I glared at his mocking face, his seductive grin, his perfect brow, his grace that could change to ferocity in seconds. He was like a fox: beautiful, sly, dangerous, deceitful.

'How long have you been watching me?' I demanded, grabbing my dress and dipping it into the water, soaking it to remove stains of dirt, grass and dried blood. I stank, but mostly because my dress stank.

'Believe it or not, Kitten, I only just arrived.' He sighed and bent down, having removed his shoes and dipped his bare legs into the water, sighing with relaxation and happiness.

I continued scrubbing my clothes, trying hard to get out everything from it I hadn't washed it since I had arrived in Neverland and that fact was beginning to take effect. 'These stains aren't coming out, it's in a worse state than my filthy body.'

'I've seen you dirtier.' He winked, flashing me a coy grin. I raised an eyebrow, looking up unamused, and resumed scrubbing my dress until my fingers felt smoothed and softer than ever before. My dress wasn't particularly large so the stains weren't plentiful, but now it was very wet, so I grabbed it, rung it out and then draped it over the grass. I would dry off, but I wasn't going to leave the studs of the water with just my underwear on while Peter Pan was still here.

'I can't believe this, Pan. I look like a complete mess since being here. This is totally your fault.' Pan laughed at me teasingly blaming him, something that used to happen a lot when we were married. I brushed that thought aside and arranged my face into a disapproving scowl. 'You humiliated me. You imprisoned me from the sailors. You lost everything I care about, don't think I've forgiven you yet, Pan.'

'I like it when you get all feisty on me, Tiger.' Peter teased and I shot him a menacing scowl.

'I'm a mess.' I retorted.

'You're still adorable to me, Kitten.' Peter cooed,

'My clothes are ruined.'

Peter shrugged, 'I like it better that way.'