Depressed Magcon Imagines

Shawn

You and Shawn were camping in a cabin that his family owns out in the woods. Shawn left to get groceries for the week, leaving you alone. You walked into your bedroom, and found yourself confronted with your own appearance--a full, body length mirror was mounted on the wall. Instantly, your fingers twitched, as your mind began to fill with a blur of thoughts. Your fingers found your thighs and your hips, pinching the fat, and your eyes sought out your collar bones and rib bones, failing to see any visible protrusions. Suddenly, you felt a shiver making its way up your back. Your mind waged a war inside your head.

"How the fuck did you let yourself get so fat? You were doing so good before, and now look, you've completely gained it all back! You're a fucking failure. Do you honestly think anyone finds you attractive now that you look like a fucking mammoth? You weren't strong enough to continue, and that's why you stopped. There's no way you were dangerously skinny before; therefore, there was absolutely nothing wrong with your health, and no real reason to 'recover' existed. You gave up because you were weak, not because you were sick," you screamed.

It was six months since you, with the help of Shawn, chose to go into recovery for anorexia. With Shawn's support, you had reached a healthy weight once again, and you hadn't restricted or over exercised over the past months. Alone in the cabin, however, you began to feel the strong pulls of your disorder once again.

"You're worthless. You know that, right? You're a worthless heap of fat, and absolutely no one needs you. Do you really think Shawn loves you? The answer should be no. How could anyone love such an odious creature as you? Shawn merely pities you: His affections for you never existed. If you were skinny, however, he might find a reason to truly appreciate you"

With these thoughts in mind, you ran into the bathroom. You tore open the bathroom cabinet, searching for a scale. Your fingers came into contact with cool metal, and you--with adrenaline pumping through your body--placed the item on the floor. You shivered as your toes met with the cold surface, and your whole body shook with nervousness. Anxiously your eyes looked down, and you felt as if a monstrous bolder had struck you. Your body jolted with the realization of how much weight you had gained, your mind pounded, you screamed out, and you couldn't stop the rivers of tears from falling down your face. You stared at your self through your tears in the bathroom mirror and your fingers began to dig in to your skin, and you ripped your fingers nails through your soft flesh, as if you could tear away the unwanted skin.

Shawn, hearing your screams, ran to the bathroom and dropped all of the bags of groceries on the floor. He pulled your hands away from your body, and intense worry burned in his eyes.

"Baby baby baby , what happened? Tell me what's wrong," he said as his strong arms pulled you into his chest.

"I--I saw myself, Shawn. I actually saw myself for the first time in a long time, and it wasn't good. All I am is fat, Shawn! I'm worthless: There is no use on Earth for a fatty like me. I just can't believe I stopped. I can't believe I ruined everything I worked so hard for. I --"you said before Shawn interrupted you.

"Stop. Just stop, (Y/N). I don't want to hear you insult yourself anymore. It pains me so much to hear self-degrading words come out of the mouth that belongs to the person that I love more than anything in the universe. You are and always will be the most exquisite woman to ever live. Your eyes are bluer than the Caribbean, your smile is brighter than the sun, your lips are plumper than Kylie Jenner's, your body is magazine worthy, and your face is the prettiest I've ever seen. I know that you are only going to brush these compliments off and refuse to believe them, but I will never stop giving them to you. Baby, look in my eyes. I want you to see how much you mean to me. Do not ever think for a second that you are worthless. You are worth something to me! You give me a passion for life, that I never had before I met you. Each day I wake up with a renewed sense of joy because I am lucky enough to call you my girlfriend. You make me happy, and all I want to do is return the favor. I want to make you feel like perfection. I know recovery is hard, but I am never going to give up on you. You are beautiful, and you deserve to feel like it, too. I absolutely adore you."

You felt the frenzy of before dissolve: Your heart slowly began to reach a normal pace, your thoughts stopped whirring, and the screams of Ana could scarcely be heard.

"Shawn, you are amazing. No one else is able to make me feel the way that you do. When I'm with you, my world becomes much more livable. Having you by my side, makes me feel as if I can accomplish anything. I love you so much, Shawn. You're more than I deserve."

Shawn kissed you in a way that made your whole world stop. All you felt was him, and you wanted it to stay that way.

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Author's Note

Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my last imagine, and thank you to everyone who has commented on any of my other imagines, as well. It really means a lot to me when you guys comment :) Every single one of you who is reading this is beautiful and I hope everyone has a good day. XX