Depressed Magcon Imagines

Jack G

You and Jack have spent he entire day together. He took you to a secluded beach, and you've had a very romantic day roaming the dunes and enjoying his company. The sun has left, and in its place now lie a million twinkling stars. Jack and you hold hands as you walk slowly down the beach. You find a perfect spot for you and him to sit down. He gently put his hand on your thigh and rubbed tiny circles on your skin while his lips met yours. He playfully pushed you down and you felt the nice sensation of cool sand on your back as his kisses become rougher. His lips traveled up the side of your face and then you felt his lips gently graze your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"Let's go for a swim, beautiful," he whispered huskily.

You froze with panic. You knew that going to the beach comes with the expectations of being in a swim suit and going swimming, and as much as you tried to prepare yourself for this moment, you couldn't stop yourself from being stricken with anxiety. As worry invaded all the crevices of your body, Jack noticed that something was wrong. His face, inches away from yours, looked perplexed and nervous.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)? Did I do something wrong?"

You felt your heart drop to your stomach as your ears rang with his words. The last thing you wanted was for Jack to feel as if he had done anything wrong. Sitting up, you took a shaky breath and tried to fight back the tears that were determined to break free.

"No, Jack. There's something I need to tell you," you said as you warily looked into his intense eyes.

"Babe, whatever it is, it won't change what we have together. I'm confident in our relationship, and there is nothing in the world that could make me question us together."

Taking one more deep breath, willing yourself to muster a drop of courage, you began to tell your story

"Well, Jack, I wasn't always like this. I used to be broken. I woke up everyday aching from depression. I just could not shake the feelings of being useless, unimportant, helpless, hopeless, and everything in between. Needless to say, life seemed like a waste of time to me back then. I tried to free myself of the emotions by cutting. Cutting was the only way I felt a glimpse of happiness: It was the only way I could be in control and hold some sort of power. So everyday, before I'd shower, I'd take my blade and slice my skin open from my belly button down to the tops of my thighs. I felt myself falling down a deep hole. Finally, one day, my niece was visiting. I beheld her precious, innocent face and I wished with all my being for her to never feel the way I did. It pained me to even imagine her ever tearing her body apart like I did. I decided to lead by example. That day I made a promise to never cut again and to work on filling my life with as much positivity as possible. It's been eighteen months since I threw out all of my blades. We met a year ago, and you have no idea how much you actually helped me. When I felt incredibly awful, all it took was spending a day with you to make me feel better again. For the first time, I felt loved and wanted, and I can never thank you enough for that. Of course I still feel the pull of depression on my heart at times, but I now know that with you, I can tolerate that, and that those feelings won't last forever. The reason why I sort of shut down when you asked to swim, is because I didn't want you to see my scars. I was--and still am--terrified that you'll leave me, now that you know how flawed I am," you finished your story and felt some of the weight lifted off your chest, but you still anxiously awaited his response.

Jack, looking at you with the most sincere eyes said to you, " (Y/N), I cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for you for telling me this. I know that it wasn't easy to bring this wall down and open up for me, but I am incredible proud of you for doing so. You are the most amazing girl I have ever met. It absolutely pains me to think that you have ever had to experience anything but pure bliss, because, Baby, that's what you deserve. I want to be the man that you can cry on, and I want to be the one that cheers you up. I want you to trust me with your heart, and to believe me when I say that I promise to never break it. You are the love of my life today, tomorrow, and for all of eternity. I long to kiss, embrace, and love no one but you. And, (y/n), it would be an absolute honor for you to let me see your scars. They are apart of you, and to me, every single part of you is worthy of praise and adoration. "

"Oh, Jack!" You said, with happy tears in your eyes, "I absolutely trust you. You may see all of me. I love you more than I knew was possible, and I am so grateful to have a man that makes me feel as safe as you do. You are caring, strong, and honorable. I could never dream of a man as perfect of you. You are my forever and always."

Jack leaned down and kissed your lips, as his body hovered above yours and your back laid flat against the sand. His hands slowly moved down your sides and he grasped the bottom of your shirt. He slowly lifted your shirt up, only breaking the kiss to lift it up past your mouth. With out looking down, he continued to kiss you. This time, his hands hooked in the loops of your jean shorts and slowly pulled away from your lips as he removed them from your legs. You were left in only a bikini and felt unusually exposed. His eyes roamed over the white, swollen scars that littered your body. He cautiously leant down and gently started to kiss the marks. You and him both felt that you had reached a level of deep intimacy that most couples can only dream of. As his lips found his way back to yours, you and him started to passionately make out. You and him traveled slightly downward from where you were at so that the water now grazed your bodies. His hands found the string to your bottoms and you nodded, giving him permission. You felt vulnerable, but at the same time, you felt as if you were clothed in a warm, sweet air of love and affection. You and Jack made love as the waves rolled in, and--for a moment--it felt like the whole earth went still, and only you and him existed in the universe.