Come Off Anon (joshler)

. Chapter One .

AN : it's always gonna be in Ty's pov until him and Josh meet and then maybe I'll start switching it out now and then. Also, every chapter is gonna start off with one of Ty's diary entries bc how cute tbh. Or sometimes how sad. Like this chapter. Sorry. Tbh this is kind of just a filler chapter and more of an introduction to Ty and a look in his mind, and why he loves Josh so much.

! Short !

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The sun decided not to show itself today. A mournful blanket of grey clouds dominate the sky. On the days where this happens, I feel like the sun is too sad to show itself and shine to warm us. This is so cheesy and petty sounding so I'll stop. But..I'm in that mood today. I even tried thinking about Josh, but in a way sometimes thinking about him makes me sadder.

A tear dropped down onto the paper, staining the corner of the page, and I hastily reached my free, not-writing hand up to catch another. 'Fuck.' I whispered angrily to myself. I hated crying. It makes me feel so weak, so out of control with my emotions. I threw my pen down, resting my head in my hands. I feel like most of the time, that's how my writing sessions end. I get too overwhelmed, too wrapped up in what I'm spilling out, too caught up in my emotions. And then, that familiar thud of the blue pen hitting the paper. Sometimes I don't even finish the word I'm in the middle of writing. In fact, most of the times, Josh is just Jo, or even J. As pathetic as it sounds, writing his name hurts. I'm writing his name, when half of the time I'd rather be saying it to his face, followed by 'I love you', and then he'd reply back- no. I hate when I start thinking about that.

He will never love you. You're stupid. And annoying. You're on a lower level than him.

Thoughts like this are why I hate silence. The longer the silence remains, more of these terrible thoughts begin to infest my mind. I can't stand being left alone because of this.

And to think, this was all over some stupid Tumblr user.

Sometimes I forget why Josh makes me feel as good as he does, and then, as cliche as it sounds, I remember it's because he's simply himself. His text posts give me delightful stomach cramps from laughter, and honestly his face his just gorgeous.

In all honesty, Josh makes me feel better than anyone in real life does.

Maybe I should tell him.

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uGH the ending was so cheesy sorry but yeahh I think you all know where this is going next. Sorry this chapter is so depressing, the next one has more cute Joshler fluff, I promise. I mean, that's why you're all reading this rn, don't lie.

Update soon my lovelies!