Welcome back, kiddies! Now, did you remember your teddy bears?
Because it's time for another story!
*que harp and warbling flashback thing*
So there I was, an innocent grade 3, playing tag and running away with my hands up while screaming obnoxiously. But strangely joyously, too. Eh... *shrugs* cos I'm still a brutal badass lion ninja who is mutilater of knees. But believe me, that title grows.
I got bored of tag and went to find a skipping rope. Specifically, the elastic ones that slap your feet, legs and sometimes head like a vicious little deviant.
I was on my merry way, skipping peacefully by myself when a foot ball was kicked purposely into my face.
So I roared, once again, like the very same majestic fucking lion from before.
I chase two kids through the playground, slashing at them with an elastic skipping rope, like a malicious yet badass individual.
Anyway, I slash at them still. Eventually, I slash across the back of their ankle, drawing blood, and that 1 person falls to the ground and cries.
I kick them in the stomach really hard and walk away like THE bitch.
I finally the other person and practically pounce, like a cat on their period (can cats even have periods... we may never know) and punched them.
A lot.
They started crying, and I attempted to strange this dickhead with combined effort from my hands and the skipping rope.
(Great work out their guys! ;D)
When 4 teachers run over and restrain me.
Plus @PandaHS (I think ~*~)
And I escape
I run towards the other one, still nursing his slashed leg, and I attempt to strangle him.
The skipping rope was taken off me.
Anyway, I only get 30 seconds until the teachers pull me off, screaming and thrashing.
The only way to calm me down when that happens is restrain me until I've stopped thrashing and screaming.
But if I actually like you, I won't hurt you.
I'll just try to struggle out of it.
Actually, I had better eat my words, and so I shall.
*puts words on a plate, cuts up, eats and swallows*
So. The moral of this chapter is not too piss me off, otherwise I will turn into a rage driven majestic lion mixed in with menstruating feline, who maliciously slashes people's legs and mutilates their knees like a total fucking badass.
HOLY SHIT! I JUST MADE A RUN ON SENTENCE! MY INNER GRAMMAR HITLER IS GOING TO KILL ME! BUT...
See you in the land if innocent grade 2 and 3's who attempt to murder people.
-Jack
