wasting time » lh ; mc

seven

It was a repetitive question that Luke doesn't like the answer to because he had to lie to everyone about how it really made him feel growing up—how it still makes him feel. How could you tell your parents that your father's career made you feel unloved and pushed away? You couldn't. There's no good outcome Luke was able to come up with if he ever did manage to voice his feelings.

But, after the appearance was over and Luke could take off his pants and put on a pair of basketball shorts, sit on the floor and continue his Ratchet & Clank marathon, he couldn't help but continue thinking about how he just wanted a normal life. Luke wanted to be able to talk to his dad about girl problems without expecting to have a hockey legend brought up in relation to the issue and be told a story about some retired star who had a similar situation. Because, no, dad, this isn't Ray Bourque's life, this is your son's and he needs help without being compared to people who are better than he'll ever be.

Of course, the closest Luke would probably ever get to living averagely would be the fact that his mom and dad made sure to not pamper him with things he didn't need and didn't waste their money on buying a giant house that fit twice as many people as needed. That was one good thing, since it saved him from accusations of being spoiled and his few friends only coming over for his possessions.

He thinks those types of people are worse than the ones using him to get closer to his father, because nothing comes good out of materialistic people and it hurt a lot more knowing that an object was more important to someone than a friendship. It was also unbelievable how no one in the hockey world, or hockey fans, saw Luke as Luke Hemmings and instead saw him as Luke Hemmings—"you mean you're the Andrew's son? Oh my God, hey dude!"—and people wonder why he's as introverted as he is.

Luke will give credit where it's deserved, though. Like when he was younger and went to the cook-outs that his dad brought him to. The hockey players who had kids usually brought them, and every time Luke thought about it, he realized that those kids were the only ones who he could relate to. He was only, like, seven at the time and didn't get lonely because he couldn't process that his dad was never really there, but with the kids around him being in or close to their teen years, they did. And so at least Luke made them feel like they had attention for once.

He wishes he understood when he was younger—wishes that it didn't take so long to realize that, no, dad isn't here and he never really is but you're so ignorant and young that he thinks you won't notice and you didn't, not until it was too late and he was at the height of his career and you were at the height of your loneliness. Maybe it would've given Luke something to think about when he felt as sad as he does.

       + + +

"Are you okay?" Luke asked worriedly, after he sees Michael cringe as they sat up from the ground. Surprisingly, he allowed Luke over to his house the following weekend—even if it did take a lot of convincing and stories about how embarrassing it would be for them to make a fool out of themselves in front of Wayne Gretzky. That part was more for Michael, though, because Luke was so used to hockey players being around that he didn't even care if he picked his nose in front of them anymore. Michael on the other hand is in love with everything to do with them so he, of course, wouldn't want to do anything to make them laugh at him instead of with him in the slightest.

Michael nodded, an unconvincing smile that looked more pained than anything plastered on his lips. "Some douchebag checked me super hard at the game, which might be why. Or I pulled something during training."

"You're training on injury? You really are an idiot," Luke said, bringing his hands up to rub over his face. He couldn't believe anyone would risk hurting themselves more, and it was all for the sake of a sport. But, Luke had also come to learn that Michael was a cocky shit and didn't care about how much his body was put at risk as long as he impressed people.