Always and Forever

im addicted

The song is voodoo from ghost Town. 😍😍 ghost town is one of my favorite bands! I hope you like what I wrote so far.
  Andy biersack as alexzander!!

I'm a addict but not to drugs or alcholo no that would be to easy, Me I'm addicted to cutting the deeper the cut the more blood the more high I get. Maybe I'm sick like they say and I really do need to go to rehab or maybe their the ones who are sick and I'm the sane one.

My parents found out of my sick obsession and took me to meet doctor white, a therapist, to find what's wrong with their once perfect son but the only thing the doctor told my parents is that I need serouse help and that she had the perfect place for someone with my "needs".

So here we are outside of sunshine rehabilitation center or what I like to call it the jail for rejects, the place where they put the ones they don't understand and won't understand, they only want you to change to fit their perfect world. We walked in and was greeted by doctor white, for someone who locks people away she seem overly happy to see us.

"Okay everyone now that you are here, alexzander will need to take a psychological evaluation with me one more time before we place him" said doctor white yet again overly happy.
Doctor white asked me to follow her and I did we were in a white room, everything here seems to be white or yellow.
"Take a seat alexzander" said doctor white. It bother me how she look at me. Like im sick but im not sick this is what i choose to be. She thinks shes better than all of the rejects but she will have  another thing coming, I won't make this easy on her. I will Rebell.
Let's begin the test and see who will come out a winner in the end.

"So alexzander why do you prefer the name zander instead of alexzander asked doctor white," its simple I told her, I just don't like my name there's no specific reason why" I lied to her.
Doctor white didn't look satisfied with my answer so she asked another qoustion, "why do you hurt yourself alexzander". Another simple question, "because I can" I replied. Doctor white look like she was irritated with my answer of course I wouldn't tell her my real reasons behind my name and cutting, why would I ever let her into my world of blessfull nightmares.

I know she doesn't truly want to help me, she just wants my family's money, I guess it doesn't matter. Its best if I just ignore her because she'll just try to rip my mind apart and turn me into the normals, something I never want to be again, its worse to be normal trying to impress everyone and not able to be who you are. They are the sick one's, I won't lie I was once a normal, we all once were, but on that day the day alec died I changed I saw how sick the normals are and I will never be normal again no matter what it takes, even if I die trying.

Doctor white wasn't looking to happy no more, she must of figured out I wasn't going to let her in to change me.

"Alexzander!" She shouted at me," if you don't answer my questions how will you get better and out of here." "Maybe I'm not sick and theres no reason for me to be here"I yelled back. She didn't like that answer for sure I could tell she was making a horrible face now. "Alexzander your more sick than anyone I ever met" she snarled at me and paused for a second "and you belong here the most" she finished.

After our little fight she keep throwing questions at me and none of them met a answer till she ask if this is what Alec would want and I can't believe she would scope so low to talk about Alec like that, she doesnt know what alec would want or not!
I just sat there glaring at her and whisper that " Alec would not want me to be normal" I didn't tell her that he wouldn't want me to be hurting my self ether but she didn't need to know that.

~ after a hour of questions ~

Doctor white and I walked back to where my parents were sitting and told them that I was worse that she orginally thought and for them to read the pamphlet she got for  them and when visiting hours where as I picked up two bags that had my clothing in it.

My mother cried and hugged me saying that they would visit me every week but I knew they wouldn't, I could tell with the way my father was looking at me that he was glad to get rid of his fucked up son.

Doctor white brought me back and took me to have my things to be look through and for me to have a full body search.

A strong man walked up to me and told me to go in to the bathroom with him. "Strip" he command and I did as he told me to, he looked strong enough to break me.
He made a disgust face at my body.

I was skinny with piercings on my hips, my back dimples and chest than add on all the cuts I had on my arms, stomach, thighs and legs I could tell he hated to look at me, not to beep my own horn but I knew I wasn't ugly I have a nice shaped face and beautiful big blue eyes, my lips were full and with them my snakebites I have a small nose and I cute small septum piercing.

I never had to dye my hair because my hair is naturally black. We spent a hour in the bathroom fighting over the fact I couldnt keep my piercings in but I won in the end like I knew I would.

I was finally brought to were I would be staying at for god knows how long it looked dirty to me but what could I expect from this place.

It was already past the bedtime they set when I was finished with everything they needed from me and what they expected out of me, I was definitely tired by now and to think I've only been here a day it will only get worse.

Doctor white said that I would be sharing a room with another boy and that he was already asleep so to be quit.
When we walked in I turned around to ask a question but she had already closed the door and locked it, she was quick to leave.

The bed next to mine was snoring loudly, I whispered" lucky me" and layed in be to sleep.
Goodnight Alec.

Okay my lovelys tell me what you thought and I apologize for the horrible gammer and Punctuations.