Trouble in Paradise | Yeongyu

• 24 •

"Yes. I'm eager to know my husband a little more." He looked at him.

"Well, let's warm up to this. Beomgyu I actually want you to start, share something with Yeonjun it can be anything."

"Okay um...like something I've never told him?"

"Sure."

"When I was a kid I used to be terrified of the dark because the power went out while my parents were away and I hurt myself. I'm still scared of the dark, which is why I light a candle every night." He looked at Yeonjun. "It was so insignificant I never told you why."

"Okay, Yeonjun your turn."

"Ummm...when I was in middle school I sneezed so hard that snot flew out of my nose and landed on my crush in front of me."

Beomgyu covered his mouth and they both started to laugh.

The therapist stifled her own laughs. "Good, keep going."

"Okay, when I was eight. I used to pretend to be a bear...all the time. For months. Embarrassing whenever I think about it."

"That's not too bad. When I was thirteen I thought Santa was real and I used to brag about the notes he left me about how great my cookies were."

"Thirteen?"

"Thirteen." He laughed and Beomgyu did the same.

They went back and forth for a while and continued to laugh about the silly times they had as kids and their imagination.

"Your turn." Yeonjun said as he rested his chin his palm.

"What else?" He started thinking and then his mood changed a little. Like when you remember something but you realize it's too late, that dread that washes over you.

He sat quietly for a while and Yeonjun eventually reached over and held his hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. Beomgyu looked at him and smiled a little.

"...when I met you. My dad didn't approve. I think he still couldn't understand the fact that I was gay and that wasn't changing. So when I told my parents about you he had a lot of things he wanted to say. Things that my mother didn't approve of. They had fought before about me and this was the final straw. They divorced and it was all my fault."

He gave him a sad smile.

"It used to tear me up a lot and my mom could tell. She reassured me, told me not to carry any negativity, and I let it go. Until...you started to pull away and I thought...it's happening again. I'm going to ruin another marriage–"

"That's not true." Yeonjun said quickly. "Everything that happened with us was my fault."

"That's the thing Yeonjun, you always blame yourself like I did but the pain I felt was someone else's and it was forced onto me." He held his hand tighter. "I'm here for you Yeonjun and I'm telling you that I'm not going anywhere no matter who's pain you are feeling."

Yeonjun held his hand tighter. "You promise?"

"I promise."

"...it started when I was a kid..."

The past...

Yeonjun flinched as his father yelled at his mother.

"Will you shut up for two seconds with your crying? Always crying about some shit! Grow up you're a grown ass woman you look pathetic!"

"Honey," she sobbed. "I'm just worried and–"

"Yeah I know because you won't shut up about it!"

They argued like this for months. Yeonjun heard the way his father talked about his mother on the phone to other people. He saw the way his mother begged for him to pay attention and be there for her but he refused. He was annoyed.

He no longer loved her enough to help her with the load off her shoulders.

The cheating started after the first month and that's when they started to go through the divorce. His mother seemed to have a mental break down through it all.

"Yeonjun-ah." She she said as she tucked him in bed. "Your father doesn't love me anymore," tears ran down his face as she said that. "Don't make the same mistake as me. I'm worthless and so are you, you can't be bothered to talk about your problems to people. They'll only leave you in the end Yeonjun. Your father realized it and he left, he doesn't love us anymore."

Imagine being told that almost everyday as a child. That your problems didn't matter and you shouldn't talk about them, that you were worthless, no one loves you enough to deal with your problems.

The present...

"When I met you all I knew was hook ups. I didn't know what love was like. I learned that through you and your mom, but when I dealt with issues I didn't know how to just...tell you."

Beomgyu sniffled and wiped his face. "Oh Yeonjun," he cried. "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you crying?" He asked with a light hearted laugh as tears ran down his own face, he reached over and wiped away Beomgyu's tears.

"Because that's horrible." He hugged him tightly. "I promise, I'll never leave you Yeonjun. I'm yours, we'll get through this. I'm so happy you finally talked to me."

Yeonjun was a little shocked, he slowly embraced his husband. Wrapping his arms around him before he buried his face into neck and started to tremble a little, crying in his arms.

His mother was wrong and he was so relieved.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Kind of a long chapter but look at the progress