Without you. - [Chenford Story]

Chap 5 : One year of you.

It was 7am that sunday morning when he heard a little babbling coming from his little one's bedroom. She was awake. He opened her bedroom's door, and went to her crib. When she saw his face, she named him " Dada ". He was so proud, once again. He took her out of the bed and hugged her.

T - Happy birthday little monster. One year ago was the first day i met you. And from where she is, your mummy is wishing you Happy birthday too. She loves you. I love you.

Ellie smiled and hugged her father back. His baby is now one. They went to the kitchen, had breakfast together and he put her down for a little playtime. He had a lot of things to do today. He planned a tiny party with the gang. Angela helped him. He had to stop her in her fantasy. He wanted something simple : music, photos, a cake, some gift and beers for grown-up. Arround 1pm after he fed her, he laid her in her crib for a little nap.

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Everyone was here. Ellie was awake too. She was happy to see everyone. It was her family too. Everyone held her at least once. Everyone could see Lucy in her, she had her look and her smile.

Tim put the cake on the table, he lit the one candle and held her baby in his arms. Everyone was singing the tradionnal happy birthday song, before Tim and Ellie blew the candle. She was officialy one now. Everyone clapped, and the little girl laughed.

Angela took her, and put her on the floor and gave her the first present. Ellie enjoyed removing the gift wrap in little pieces. She found it funny, she was laughing everytime she did it. At the end she discovered books, and games. She had a lot of games, some clothes from everyone. It was Tamara turn. It was hidden in the a little paper bag. She sat down on the floor, and took Ellie on her laps. She took off the present from the bag and opened it in front of Ellie. It was a fabric photo album. She made it herself.

Ta - See baby, you can carry it everywhere with you. Look, it's you one year ago. And this, this is your mummy and your dada, there it's all the gang, and this is you and me. There are more photos inside. If you miss someone, just open it. Happy birthday, i love you. Always.

She kissed the girl and let her discover her gift. She stood up, with teary-eyed and sat well away from everyone. Angela joined her five minutes after.

A - You are ok ?
Ta - One day she will probably feel the same way as me. Living without her mum. I lost mine, She lost hers, and nothing could change the emptiness in our heart. Nothing can protect her from that. Even if she had no memories with her, she will always miss her.
A -She will be proud of you, you know..

Tamara smiled before Angela took her in her arms. Later that day, everybody was in the garden, kids were playing outside. Tim gave a beer to Angela and sat down next to her.

T - Thank you.
A - For what ?
T - For this ..
A - Anything for her.
T - I can't believe she's one. Times flies..
A - One day they're one, and in one blink they're 18
T - Angela please...
A - You aware she will grow up  ?
T - Very funny. Can we just let her be an one year old?
A - What was your gift ?
T - I will give it to her tonight.
A - You did a amazing job with her you know ?
T - Really ?
A - Yes. Trust yourself Tim. Even if sometimes you are lost, and if you don't have any idea of what you are doing, trust yourself. She will love you no matter what. 

They talked a bit more. Around 7pm everyone left. It was just him and her. She was exhausted. He gave her a bottle and take her to her bedroom for her night routine. He sat down with her and tried to get her attention.

T - Ellie, Dada has something for you.

She looked at him with a smile. He gave her a package, and let her opened it. It was her. A picture of her. It was one year ago.

T - You see, it's you and mama. One year ago. The day you were born..
 
He put the frame next to her bed. She pointed it. He stood up, and settled her bed and looked at her. And then ... She made her first step.

T - Babe come quick, she's ...

And he realized again, she was not here for that too. It was hurting him. He will be the only one to remembered that. He took his phone and recorded it. His baby was walking. She had make few little step. But not like this. She was walking and pointing the frame.

E - Mamamama
T - Yes, baby, it's you and mama.

He looked at her proudly. It was a big day. He took her in his arms.

T - I'm so proud, and mummy is too. But now, it's time to sleep. Maybe mummy will join you in your dream and she will be able to wish you an happy birthday. Good night baby, dada loves you.

He kissed her, laid her down her crib before closing the door. He took his phone and sent the video to Angela.

From Tim to Angela:
" Look at her. She's growing up to fast. Thanks again for today. "

From Angela to Tim:
" Well done peanut. You're welcome... What was her gift? "

From Tim to Angela:
" Her first picture with Luce. "

From Angela  to Tim:
" Hey, Tim, are you ok ? "

From Tim to Angela:
" I don't know. I can't stop thinking of one year ago when everything was sunshine. We were over the moon, we were the three of us. She missed so much. She just walked Ang' and her mum is not here anymore. But i guess i have to handle every memories because she won't come back. Anyway.. I saw you talk with Tamara earlier.. Was she ok ? And can we talk about the perfect gift she made to Ellie ? "

From Angela to Tim:
" We talked about her mum and how one day Ellie will feel the same way as she... I think she was worried about all of this. She knows how to live without a mum, she knows how painful it is, and she was kind of worries about Ellie feelings later... It was a perfect gift. But Tim, give yourself time, everything happened 4 months ago. You are going to be ok. One day. "

He said her goodnight and sent a text to Tamara.

From Tim to Tamara:
" She can walk now. Thank you again for you gift. One of the best. It means a lot. Really Tam. She is lucky to have you in her life. I know things are hard, but, you can talk to me if you need. My home is yours, we are family. "

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Since the letter it was the first time he opened the box Lucy made for Ellie. He wanted to add more things inside. The inside of the box smelt like her. He added the polaroid they took earlier. He sat at the table for a moment and started to write something on paper.

" Baby, you turned one today. And guess what, you decided to walk today too. I'm so proud of you, and i'm sure mummy is too. You were my best surprise, and you will always be. I watched you growing up during one year. You spent you 9 first months with mummy and i, and then, you know something happened. Never forget how much mummy and i loved each other, because you are the result of that love. We wanted you so bad. You made us happier. You made me a dad. I spent a year with you. A lot of first time for the both of us. It was a rough year, but you were my sunshine in all that darkness. Please don't grow up too fast, i'm not ready for this. I love you, mummy loves you. Unconditionally. ".

He put that letter into an envelope,labelled it " 1 Year ", and put it into the box. After he put it back where it belonged, Tim went to bed. He turned his head to a photo of him and Lucy " Good night, i love you, we love you ".

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24/05/2024 : Hi everyone! Hope you are ok. I tried to put some not sad things inside. But he's grieving.. it's been only 4 months. It can't be all happiness so soon, but it will ! I hope you enjoyed it anyway ! Vote and comment, it helps ! :) ! Thank you so much ! Take care.