Cold Smiles & Pretty Lies

Chapter Nineteen - What Makes Me Different?

"Even though they say that time heals all wounds the scars are still fucking there. I can't forget what happened. I can't forget how I felt."

Anthony's POV

Syd had been absent for the last week, and Maria had been in a bad mood. That whole week just felt off, and I missed her smile. She really did have the most beautiful smile. I loved the way her eyes would light up right before she laughed or the little twinkle when she got excited. Not that I got to see much of that these days.

As soon as Syd made a reappearance the next week at the Daily Grind, Maria's bad mood only magnified. I noticed how Syd walked with a slight limp and when she went to brush her hair aside, there was a patch of skin that looked red and raw. I wanted to ask but we weren't really close anymore. Similar to before, we only really had those advanced math and math-adjacent classes together. Those being AP physics C and multivariable calculus. Unlike before, we don't sit together.

I was really excited when we had been assigned as partners for our physics project. It was just a small presentation in which we had to teach a concept to the class, but it required us to spend time outside of class. So we'd been meeting up throughout the week, and we worked well together. We shared some moments that made my heart race and I saw pieces of the old her. All week, I'd been trying to find the right time to talk to her about us, but always chickened out when we were together.

Finally, on the Friday before Thanksgiving break in calc, I had been asked to pass back our last exams. We had a few minutes left and the professor was still talking to a student. When I saw Syd's I put it on the bottom of the pile so I could give it to her last and attempt to initiate some sort of conversation. She used to be so easy to talk to—open and friendly, but now she was very reserved and almost standoffish. It was almost like she was putting more effort into making her answers dry. I had made progress over the last week though. I even made her laugh a few times.

"Hey, nice job on the last test," I grinned as I handed Syd her test, "Set the curve again. I guess some things never change."

Syd looked up from her phone with the slightest ghost of a smile on her lips, "I guess some things don't."

Just then my phone buzzed with a text from Maria. With multi being my last class of the day, we had made plans to meet up before she came back to my house to have dinner with my family. Except, she wasn't happy about the time I'd been spending with Syd and we got in a fight. She said I talked about her all the time and it felt like I was still living in the past. So, she broke up with me. Just not she texted me a picture of her with her "friend" who's three years older than us. It looked like they were pretty cozy.

"Girlfriend?" Syd questioned.

I shook my head but realized she wasn't looking at me anymore, "No, it was just my brother asking if I had his hoodie."

She glanced up with a look that showed she saw right through my bullshit but didn't push it.

"How's Luca doing? Need any help with math?"

I forced a chuckle, "No, he's graduating next year with a degree in sports medicine from the community college. It's really crazy seeing him actually study and care about school. He said he's really thankful for all that help you gave him. He's too stubborn to listen to me."

The professor dismissed the class and students began to shuffle towards the exit. Syd took her feet off the desk to stand up. A few of the guys nodded bye as they passed by.

Syd slung her bag over one shoulder before turning back to me, "Damn, good for him. Tell him I said congrats." She began to walk away.

"Why don't you tell him yourself?" I blurted out as I trailed behind her. She paused and turned back to me as I added, "My mom is making her homemade bolognese and there's always plenty leftover. I'm sure everyone would love to see you."

By now, everyone else had cleared out, and we reached the doors of the building. Syd glanced out the door then back to me and adjusted the strap of her bag. One ear bud was in and the other dangled out—the white of the cord standing in stark contrast against her black leather jacket. It really was weird seeing her dressed like this in tight clothes and black leather.

"Thanks for the offer but I'm not your girlfriend anymore, Anthony," she stated bluntly and reached for her other earbud. It felt like a blow to the chest.

"But we were friends. You were friends with Kalinda before and you're still friends now. What makes me any different?" I almost pleaded. Man, what the hell is wrong with me?

Syd's expression didn't change as she dropped the ear bud again and stuffed her hand back into her pocket. We continued out into the parking lot before we stopped at her bike. I watched as she opened up a compartment and took out her helmet before throwing in her bag.

"What're you trying to do, Anthony?"

"Come on, Syd? What makes me different?" I asked again.

She threw one leg over the bike and put on her helmet, with the visor still up so I could only see her eyes.

"The difference is that Kal hasn't been fucking the girl she cheated on me with longer than we were actually together, ignore me when I showed up again, and then only talks to me when it was convenient for her."

I was stunned "But I thought you said-"

"You think I don't see the dirty looks your girlfriend shoots me or the distance she's put between the two of you?" Syd states calmly as she starts her bike up, "You can't stay fucking loyal when shit gets rough and I'm not going to help you fuck up another relationship. If you want to break another heart, do it on your own. Now if you don't mind, I need some caffeine."

With that she flips down the visor so all I can see is a reflection of my face, backs up before giving me a two-finger salute, and riding away.