Love is for Show

19 - It's Settled!

My fist holds my head up while I daze out the window. For some reason, the restaurant doesn't hold as tense of an atmosphere as I was expecting. All that stressing and worrying if what I wore would garner too much attention, or if my mannerisms would stick out like a sore thumb next to Aiden who's used to these kinds of places by now; is now leaving me mentally exhausted. I should've known he wouldn't have chosen a place that would make me uncomfortable.

"Nathan?" He calls. Gentle and so soft that even the candle between us flickers louder than his voice.

"Hm?"

"Are... you okay?"

I blink and finally look away from the window. "Yeah, sorry, just tired,"

His eyes linger on me for another minute. The dimmed lighting probably not making it any easier to get a good look at me, but I offer a reassurance in the form of a small smile anyway, which seems to console him enough to take a small sip of his wine.

"Why did you choose this place?"

He shrugs and slumps a little in his seat. "It's quiet and we have our own little corner to ourselves with this spot," he smirks into his glass and taps along the round table. "Plus the chairs are comfy,"

I laugh a little through my nose and shake my head at him.

"Why'd you ask to meet me, Nathan?"

"I-" My eyes watch the flame whip back and forth in a repeated motion. "I want to get rid of this tension between us,"

"You do?"

My eyebrows furrow, "is that weird?"

He's quick to shake his head, a flurry of red mesmerizing me for longer than necessary. "It's just- I wasn't really expecting you to initiate this talk this time, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me,"

I feel my lungs pour out the rest of its air, feeling just as exhausted as I am. But as I stare at him longer, willing the lighting to brighten up the smallest bit as my eyes adjust even more so I can really look at him. His darkened eyes, the small frown that stole the smile usually adorning his features, that new piercing of his glinting with the flame every time his lips move even the slightest.

"It's not that I don't want anything to do with you... it's actually the complete opposite," I laugh at myself innately, but it's true. It's almost sickening how much I want to talk and be with him sometimes. "I just really don't want to get hurt, Aiden,"

"Give me a chance, Nathan," he quickly responds. "We both feel this need to be with each other, I know it; and we crossed paths again for a reason I truly believe that, I want to make things right,"

My eyes flit back and forth between his'. The dullness in his gaze is replaced with heartfelt emotions, a passion reignited that he's sharing with me and only me in this instant. "After everything we've been through, it would never feel right to just cut this off, whatever this is," I motion between us and he finally holds eye contact with me for longer than a millisecond.

A knowing expression morphs his face and I know he caught the deeper meaning behind my words. A silent understanding passes between us and it's in this second, this very moment, that I know things are becoming set in stone. What we decide tonight is the final choice. Whether or not we're both willing to open up to each other again from here on out will be decided right here and now. If we leave through those doors side by side, or go in separate directions, it all depends on if we want to start building a new foundation for ourselves.

"You're right," he extends his hand, just like with our first meeting, and this time without hesitation I place mine in his. His grasp is as firm and determined as ever. "Baby steps," he whispers.