My Discord friends lol

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I got Enver, Swiffer (Swift), Archer, Simon, Dino, Zesty, Me (Fizzy), and V

I am sorry if you're in that group of people and I forgot you!!!

Cop: You ran a red light.
Fizzy: So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
Fizzy: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.

WHY WAS THAT ACCURATE AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Zesty: Yes, I'm adopting Simon and you cowards can't tell me no!

Simon: We're about to do the taser challenge. You want in?
Swiffer: What's the taser challenge?
Fizzy: We tase eachother, then drink.
Swiffer: How do you win?
Simon: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

Dino: Hey, what flavor of Teddy Grahams do you want me to get?
Archer: Honey.
Dino: Yeah, what's up?
Archer: ...
Dino: Oh! Just realized you were saying the flavor you wanted. Not addressing my endearingly.

Enver: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

WHY ARE THESE TRUE-AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Simon: I think it's time to start fucking some shit up.
Zesty: Oh no.
Simon: More like "oh yes!"

Swiffer: I'm the smartest person in my friend group.
Zesty: You hang out with V, Fizzy, Dino, and Simon.
Zesty: It's not as high a compliment as you think.

Nah cuz swift is the smartest

Dino: Love makes people do stupid things.
Fizzy: I love everything!
Dino: That explains a lot.

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Enver: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Simon: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Swiffer: if you want information it is
Fizzy: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Zesty: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!
Simon: You left me, Enver, and Fizzy in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.
Zesty: I did that on purpose, try again.

HELP WHY DOES THIS SEEM LIKE A THING ZESTY WOULD DO AHHHHHHH

V: So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Simon: No.
Dino: I did not.
Swiffer: I may have actually forgotten one.
Enver: Also no.
V: Oh good, neither did I.
Archer: *Exhausted sigh*

Enver: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.
Simon: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

Swiffer: Please let me out.
V: Sorry, I'm already in a relationship.
Swiffer: I'm trapped in your basement.
V: Listen, I'm not interested.

Fizzy: What are you gonna be doing later today?
Archer: Nothing.
Fizzy: Oh, then do you wanna come hang out with me?
Archer: No.
Fizzy: ...You'd rather do nothing then come hang out with me?
Archer: Fizzy, I'd rather do anything else than go hang out with you.

Simon: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....
Archer: ....
Dino: .....
Enver: ......
Zesty: ..Who?
Simon: That's the thing we don't-
*Everyone stares at Zesty*

Simon: What should I get at Ihop?
Enver: Pancake combo!
V: Sucked dry.
Dino: Killed.
Simon:
Simon: ...Alright.

Fizzy: Um... Excuse me, there's a fly in my soup?
Enver:So sorry about that...
Enver, after dropping a spider into Fizzy's soup:That should take care of it!

Zesty: You want some leftovers?
Enver: What are those?
Zesty: You've never had leftovers before?
Enver: No, 'cause I'm not a quitter.

Enver: Isn't it odd how people kill flies just because they're annoying? If people killed people for being annoying, I would've died like 15 years ago.

Enver: Are you really planning to shoot the demon?
Zesty: Don't worry, it's a holy gun.
Enver: How so?
Zesty: It makes holes.

Enver: It's Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Dino: Merry crisis.
V: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Swiffer: Hoe hoe hoe.
Enver: Guys, please.

Bro I'm pretty sure Enver named her Christmas dragon Fizzy after me 🥹 I forget tho-

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⏰ Last updated: May 20 ⏰

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