Lost in thoughts (A/n)

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Info- Matts' mental health has been dropping by day, hiding his true self with a mask of happiness. It gets to the point where he needs help, physically and mentally.

☆There will be lots of triggering parts, so please skip this if it makes you uncomfortable or harm you in any way☆

























Third person-
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It's felt like years since the boys' skin has been clean, where life felt easy. Not the feeling of being lost, unreal.

Rivers of tears have been spilt, oceans of blood lost. Yet the horrid motion of shaking engulfed him, darkness clouding his mind.

Why can't I go back to being a kid?

-

Early sun rises waking up the boy, who is drenched in his own tears.

"Fucking hell.." He whispered when a shooting pain is sent up his arm.

Adding his headphones to his appearance, he stars playing comforting songs to distract his busy mind.

God, you're worthless.

-

"Matt! Dinners ready!" Nicks voice bounces around the house.

Reluctantly, Matt gets up, whipping the fresh tears away, pulling the itchy fabric further down his arm, hiding the mystery that lies below.

"Coming." The boy responded, his voice raspy.

Downstairs, his brothers are tucking into their dinner. As the middle sat down, a rush of thoughts filled his mind.

You are already fat. You really don't need this.

They are judging you.

Stop.

Fat.

Ugly.

Cow.

(Matt is perfect. Nothing that is written is true)

His body language changed as the sight of the food getting closer.

"Sorry, I can't.. " Matt mumbled before rushing to the comfort of his room.

Idiot.

Idiot.

Idiot.

Tears flow down his face when his door shuts, locking him in with all the pain and misery. Sliding down the door, he throws his head into his sweaty hands.

"Matt..?" A soft, calm voice is heard from the other side of the door.

"Please leave me alone.." The middle says, chocking on tears.

Not pushing his luck, the brother leaves. Yet he will not let go of the thought completely.

-

Blood trickles down the middles arm like lava down a volcano. Satisfaction spreads around the boys face when pain shoots through him.

The pain is numb now.

Letting a small laugh, he gets back into bed to sleep the rest if the day away.

- (With Nick)

Something was up for sure, what, is the question. A heavy heart is carried around for the rest of the day.

"Chris." Nick says, concern lingering in his tone.

"Sup?" The Triplet responded not understanding the situation.

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