Loose Knots ||• Na Jaemin ff •

•13•

Y/N's POV

Jaemin just got done with his vows; he said each of his words with such sincerity, showing me how much I mean to him.

Now it was my turn. I went up to the podium, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes.

But when I opened them, I saw him... Renjun.

I quickly closed my eyes, gulped down all those feelings, and concentrated on my present.

"Even though I am not as poetic as you, as perfect as you, I still want to promise to love you with everything I have. I promise to choose you every day and make sure you never leave my side. I promise to hold your hand in every up and down and make sure that when you need me, I will be around. I promise to give you all the care for this heavenly bond we share. I promise that I will stay until death decides to part our ways. I am thankful that I will finally be able to call you mine and pray that our love ages like fine wine."

I closed my eyes tightly as I managed to say those words without letting my voice crack, feeling like I was dying with each one of them.

Because the man standing there for me wasn't the one those words came out of my mouth for.

My heart was still holding onto the past, and my feelings were still torn between the two.

I looked at Jaemin and felt guilty just by witnessing the lovely gaze from him.

Why does he have to love me so much, making it equally difficult for me to hide my true feelings? Or maybe I myself don't quite know where my love lies.

He came to me, and the priest stated his parts.

I tried my best not to let him know, and I was quite successful as an awful liar.

I looked into his eyes and felt warmth but also asked myself if I deserved it, even after what happened just a few minutes ago.

"You are now partners in your good and bad, joys and sorrows, ups and downs. May the divine God bless both of you with all the happiness and prosperity. Now the groom may kiss the bride."

Everyone cheered for us.

He looked at me, and I gave him an assuring smile.

He leaned closer, and his lips touched mine; they were soft.

That's when a tear left my eye as I could no longer hold in.

He broke the kiss and looked at me with concern. I looked down, not being able to face him now.

I didn't mean to make him feel this way, but I just ended up ruining everything.

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Jaemin's POV

It was finally time for us to have our first kiss. I looked at her, asking her permission.

She gave me an assuring smile, and I took it as my lead.

I joined our lips, and I just couldn't feel it was real, and if it was a dream, I didn't want to wake up.

I felt a tear on my cheek. I broke the kiss and looked at her with concern.

She looked down, and I felt my heart breaking into pieces.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down for at least the time being.

I made her look at me, "let's talk later, okay?" I said suggestively.

After that, all the events took place nicely as both of us tried to calm ourselves.

We sat in the car to finally leave for our house together.

I opened the window and took a deep breath. Then I looked at her; she was still looking down.

I held her hand and made her look at me.

"Do you still miss him?"
This time I looked down because I knew the answer and it is gonna break me.

"I do but..." She said, and I looked at her to continue.

She cupped my face and connected our lips. This time both of our tears fell. Both of us couldn't really describe what we felt and what we wanted.

I kissed her back, letting myself at least not regret it later.

But I could feel my heart cracking and becoming a crying mess, knowing I might not be the one she was actually kissing.

She broke the kiss and cupped my face before saying,
"I know I messed up but can you give a last chance..."
I looked at her, hoping her to continue.

She sniffed before continuing,
"I have already made a lot of mistakes in my life and already lost a lot, but this time I don't want to lose what I've got through so much luck."

I just looked down as I couldn't really interpret what she was trying to say as I was already a broken mess myself.

"Now I want to look at you clearly and promise to gather my pieces of heart in order to give you the love you deserve," she said again, breaking into tears.

"So can... Can I call you mine?"
I asked, gathering the little courage left with me.

She nodded, and I wasted no more time, kissing her. This time tears fell, but of joy.

Both of us didn't remember when was the last time we cried like this in each other's arms.

But it didn't matter as long as we were together now and were ready to be together.

I broke the kiss and said in between my tears,
"I thought I lost you once again."

"I am so sorry for not realizing your love at first, for not being able to reciprocate it, for ruining our wedding. I am sorry for everything."

She said while looking into my eyes,
"But I promise I will make it right. I am now going to embrace what is truly mine: my present, my love, and that's you, my dear."

With that, she again broke into tears.

I took her in my embrace, "It's all fine for me as long as you will be happy. But I still wish for you to be happy with me. I wish to be by your side, always taking care of you."

She broke the hug and pecked me on my lips before saying, "I wish the same."

Both of us smiled, finally realizing what God had planned for us and how beautiful it was that we could never ask for more.

That day, both of us felt thankful to be together.

A/n:I was so close to miss today's update, but thank Goodness 😬
Anyway, enjoy everyone 🥰