HORROR WINNERS + REVIEWS

Start from the beginning
                                    

This sentence as well: "Taken under the wing of pair of demon hunters she faces grave dangers while learning her clots' own unique abilities." There are two errors here. There needs to be an article in front of "pair," and a comma needs to be added between "hunters" and "she." So, like this: "Taken under the wing of a pair of demon hunters, she faces grave dangers while learning her clots' unique abilities." I also removed the "own" because it was redundant and you use it again in the next sentence, so for stronger word choice, I would suggest removing the first "own."

Like I said, the blurb is good, it could just use minor tweaks to the presentation!

The cover has an interesting spark of purple to contrast with an otherwise black background. That gives the cover stronger pop/flair. I'm not a huge fan of the text placement, and I'm not a huge fan of the font either, though I think I'd like the font more if the text was larger. For example, maybe the "We Give" stays the same but the "Unto Thee" is bigger to give it contrast and a little more pop. Or maybe you make the entire title text larger and take up more of the screen. I say this because there's a lot of black/empty space on the cover, so to make it stand out more, I'd suggest playing around with the positioning of the title to eliminate as much empty space as possible and to draw more attention to it.

Total: 76.5/100.


2nd Place

The Organ of Madame Ophelia by crowandquill

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The Organ of Madame Ophelia by crowandquill

Review:

Characters: 7/10. It's a little hard to judge this category since the characters aren't meant to be fully fleshed out individuals but rather vessels for the concept of the horror. You're not meant to know them well since they're redshirts who are going to show you the story idea through their eyes. I think you do a good job giving these characters their roles in the book.

I only have a couple of criticisms. One is about dialogue and how some lines felt more like description or director's notes than dialogue, but I'll go over that later in the dialogue section. Another is it feels like a chapter is missing between the second chapter and the third that would have set up the characters more and given them a bit more depth beyond being redshirts. I'm okay with not caring about them or knowing much about them since, again, this isn't a character-driven story, but a little more could always be beneficial since we can learn about the supernatural elements while also giving the characters more to do. However, that's just one suggestion and not one I'm saying will fit the story, but still something worth considering. I'll talk more about it in the pacing section. It also could have been interesting to learn more about Madame throughout the narrative, maybe through more hints and clues left around the manor the couple finds.

Overall, I think the characters do their job within the narrative, though they did not stand out to me. Not that they were supposed to, but that is something I need to factor in.

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