It Was Always You

Rita Ora

Taylor POV

What had I ever done to deserve this? He led me on and then goes for the other girl. The annoying, needy, desperate girl that I was having coffee with tomorrow. What was I going to say? I couldn't bail and no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't sprint out of this studio, go home, and cry and eat tubs of ice cream at home. I never had felt so completely and utterly helpless. There was nothing I could do but watch my love run away with someone else and it was all my fault. I had acted like I didn't care about him, like I would rather be strangers, but now I missed him more than anything and he was standing right in front of me. My life just kept getting worse and worse. I out up so many walls, but when I take them down for five minutes, I get hurt. "So do you want to start working?" Adam asked. The discomfort showed in his voice.
"Um, sure." I replied uneasily. All I wanted was to go home and cry, but I knew that there was no way around doing this.
"I'm sorry. I really am." He told me. He knew that I was upset. This was a fiasco.
"Don't worry about it. I'm glad that you're happy. Rita is such a sweet person and she's lucky to have you." I told him, trying to sound like I was okay.
"Thanks. By the way, if you want to push doing this back, I'm totally fine with it." He gestured towards his headset and other dj equipment.
"Let's just do it now." I told him. I walked inside and looked around. His studio was completely different from mine. It had turntables of all sorts. Instruments that I had never even heard of hung on the ceiling, longing to be played. Loop pedals lined the floor. One lone microphone stood in the center of the room. There was a desk pushed off to the side, with cluttered papers and a bench to sit on. "Could I see the lyrics?" I asked. He handed me a notebook with his sloppy writing filling the pages. The first song I recognized immediately as the one he gave to me, Acceptable in the 80's. I turned the pages and saw that the rest of the songs echoed the first, simple and repetitive but meaningful. "These are really good." I told him, trying to force a smile.
"You don't have to pretend for me. I know you too well." He said.
"I'm not pretending, these are actually really good." I insisted.
"Not that. I mean that you don't have to pretend that you're happy. I know that you're not and Taylor, even though I'm with Rita, I still care about you and I'm going to be there for you." He wrapped me in a tight hug and kissed my forehead. "I know that you've been having a hard time since you were with Harry. I can see it in your eyes, even though you deny it. I know I'm making everything worse and I'm sorry." I started to cry into his shoulder. I didn't want to and I didn't mean to, but it just sort of happened. Why did the people I loved the most always get taken away from me? Especially Adam. He understood me like no one else, but we just kept missing each other. I didn't even want Harry a fraction of how much I wanted Adam then. He meant everything to me, but he was with Rita. "Tay, I'm going to drive you home and we'll do this a different day if you're up for it." He whispered.
"Thank you." He pulled me out of a door in his studio that I didn't even realize was there which lead to a parking lot. No paparazzi could even make out who we were from here. It was secluded and filled with cars. He took me to a black Maserati and opened the door to the passenger side. I sat down and looked, anxious to get home.

I woke up the next mourning with mascara stained cheeks and lipstick speared across my chin. I got up in a daze and stumbled into the bathroom to get a makeup wipe. I redid my makeup and tried to do it lightly, but I needed to cover up my red and swollen eyes from crying and all of the blemishes that came with wearing makeup to bed. I put foundation all over my face and blended it with a brush before tapping more over the redness on my cheeks and chin and blending it in. I brushed blush on the apples of my cheeks and accentuated my cheekbones with bronzer whole quickly putting more in my t-zone on my forehead and nose under my bangs. I took out my corrector/concealer palette and start to dab corrector on my under eye circles. After a thorough job of corrector and concealer my under eye circles were finally gone and I didn't look as tired and unhappy as I did before. I took out an eyeshadow palette that my mom had given me just a few short weeks ago for Christmas. I brushed some sparkly white eyeshadow all over my eyelids and blended a darker silvery sparkly grey into my crease. I took out my liquid eyeliner and drew a thin line right above my upper lash line into a nice wing at the end to do a more natural version of my usual cat eye. I brushed a few layers of mascara on my top and bottom lashes and put on a light shiny pink gloss on my lips instead of my signature matte red lip. I finished eating breakfast and getting ready before choosing an outfit. I took a took a quick look at my closet before deciding on a silk white shirt with black trim and black high waisted shorts. I took out a pair of black Oxfords and a black hat. I walked out of my front door attempting to look confident to go meet Rita Ora at the nearest Starbucks. I was nervous and upset. Never would I be glad to see Rita again. I stepped inside the coffee shop and looked around to try and find Rita, but she wasn't there. The door opened and I turned around to see Rita behind me. Her dyed blonde hair was messily blown by the wind and speckled with snow, but she managed to still look perfect. Her lips donned the same red lipstick that I usually wore and I felt my teeth grit with annoyance. I would rather Adam dated the real Rihanna rather than this fake wannabe. "Hey, Taylor!" She said. Her lips broadening into a smile.
"Hey!" I replied, trying and most probably failing to return the grin. We ordered coffee and sat down at a table.
"So, what's up?" She asked.
"Um, nothing much. I'm going to start practicing for my world tour soon, but that's about it. What about you?" She seemed so happy; So perfect, no matter how much I hated her wannabe attitude.
"I'm going into the studio with Adam, sorry you probably know him as Calvin Harris, later today to work on his new album. I heard you were in there yesterday, but something came up and we're going in another day, but I wasn't supposed to tell anyone." She told me. My stomach dropped. I wasn't the only one going into the studio with Adam. He had asked another girl to come and he also asked her to call him Adam. I could only think of one way to make him pay and it might not even work.
"Oh cool! I call him Adam, too. Did you know him before he was famous?" I asked her feeling giddy with excitement. There was nothing I did better than revenge.
"No. Did you?" She asked, a mysterious wondering look appeared on her face, she probably thought Adam was cheating on her.
"Yes. We met over the summer when we were sixteen. I was on my own in London and so was he and we met and dated for a while, but that was it. Only six months together before I freaked out and we broke up. I discovered that he had started a music career just a few weeks ago. He's a really great guy and you two are an amazing couple." The last part was all a lie, but at least she knew the truth and not lies.
"Oh, so is it okay with you that I'm with him?" She asked looking worried. I now felt bad for Rita and thought she would make a great friend.
"Of course! I think you deserve each other. He talks about you all of the time. He's been crushing on you for a long time. You're just the first person I've trusted enough to tell and I thought that since you were dating now, you should know so that if he ever mentioned it, it wouldn't be a surprise." I told her. I guess everyone deserves a chance.
"Thanks so much for telling me. I know I'll be really happy with him." She smiled at me.
"Good." I grinned back, but it felt so wrong. I felt mean. "Do you want to come over to my house tomorrow? You can sleepover. It'll just be a girls night." This was my apology. Torturing myself by having a sleepover with my crush's girlfriend.
"Oh my god! Yes! I haven't had one of those in forever!" She seemed so happy and I felt a little bit better.