It Was Always You

Planes and Confusion

It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything is gone
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you feels wrong

You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said, "Yes."

[Chorus:]
You should've said "No", you should've gone home
You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go
You should've known that word, with what you did with her,
Get back to me (get back to me).
And I should've been there in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself, "Why?"
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet...
You should've said "No", baby, and you might still have me

You can see that I've been crying
Baby, you know all the right things to say
But do you honestly expect me to believe
We could ever be the same?

You say that the past is the past, you need one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said, "Yes."

[Chorus]

I can't resist
Before you go, tell me this:
Was it worth it?
Was she worth this?

No... no, no, no...

[Chorus]

I finished writing the lyrics with tears streaming down my face. Why did Daniel have to cheat on me with stupid Reyna Michaels? It angered me, but also made me wonder, did he ever love me like he said he did? Was I all a joke? I hugged me knees and rocked back and forth, attempting to convince myself that that wasn't the case. After minutes of thought that just seemed to make me more confused and depressed about the situation, I put in my earbuds and put on some music that could possibly make me feel a little less alone. I listened to the lyrics and saw how they related to my situation before realizing that this could be my life. I could write songs just like this for a living. I heard the door open and automatically assumed it was my mother coming home from work. She had to pick up her old job after my parents got separated. The only thing that made me curious as of how this was different to any other time she was coming home from work, was that I heard my dad's voice as well. I rushed downstairs and gave both of them a hug before asking them why both of them were together. "Taylor, we have something to talk to you about. Could you get Austin?" My dad told me in the most comforting voice he could muster, but somehow it wasn't comforting at all. It made me nervous and confused. I ran outside to get Austin, who was practicing basketball outside in preparation for his tryouts for the school team at the end of the summer, and led him into the living room. We both sat down and Austin asked,
"What going on?" My mom and dad looked at us solemnly, seeming afraid to tell us about the news.
"We went to our lawyers today and filled out some paperwork and-" My mom started. She seemed to look hurt, like she did when she announced that she was getting separated. I had always assumed that the whole thing was my dads decision.
"We're officially divorced." My dad finished. Austin put his arms around me and I started to cry into his shoulder.
"Shhh, it's going to be alright. We're going to stay together and I'm going to help you through this. We're going to help each other." Austin whispered into my ear so only I could hear. "It's going to be okay." I looked up at him a pond saw a single tear roll down his cheek, which made me cry even harder. I needed to be there for my little brother, but all I was doing was making it worse for him. He was always the one comforting me, never the other way around.

A few days had passed since my parents had gotten divorced and no one in my mom's house was taking it well. I walked down to the kitchen to get breakfast a little earlier than normal only to see my mom crying on the couch holding a picture from her wedding day. I rushed down to the couch and put my arm around her, trying not to cry, too. She wipes her eyes and stands up, pretending that nothing happened. She's the strongest woman I know, but I hate that she always pushes her problems away because it's not healthy for her. "Tay, I hate to say it, but you have to go to your dad's house tomorrow so if you could pack later today that would be great." I was used to this, but today it felt different. I was so mad at Dad for making Mom like this. She didn't deserve it.
I packed some clothes that I would need for the next two days, Saturday and Sunday, some makeup, jewelry, my iPod, shoes, and made sure I had my phone in my pocket before trekking downstairs to put my luggage by the door. My phone buzzed and I turned it on only to see a calendar notification. July 1 - August 1, 2000: England Trip. I completely forgot about the trip with all of the crazy divorce stuff and the flight was tomorrow! "Hey Mom!" I called.
"What is it?" My mom yelled walking up from our basement.
"Do you remember that England trip that I was going to take?" Every time that someone in our family turned fifteen, they took a trip alone to wherever they wanted to go, my mom and all of her siblings had done it and she passed the tradition down to Austin and I. Because of my fascination with the UK, I was going to different cities there, such as London and Brighton, but I also had the flexibility of just staying in one place if that's what I wanted to do.
"Yes, it's starts July 1st." She replies.
"And that's tomorrow." Her mouth gapes open, showing that she also forgot about the trip.
"Oh dear god! I'll call your father right now." She took her cellphone out of her back pocket and clicked on my dad's contact. "Hello, this is Andrea. I just remembered about Taylor's trip to the UK, so she's not going to be able to go to your place tomorrow." I waited to hear what my mom would say next so that I could understand what my dad was saying. "Her flight is tomorrow." My mom paused again to listen to my dad's response. "No, it's fine. I can take her. She has to get up at 2:00 anyway to make her flight, so this will be easier. If you want to take Taylor and Austin to dinner tonight you can do that." She stopped again. "Just make it quick so Tay has time to finish packing." Pause. "Alright, then. I'll see you later." Then, I heard her whisper, so quietly that no one would've heard her, but I did because of my good hearing, "I love you." I wanted to hug her and never let go, but to conceal that I had heard her say that, I pretended it never happened. "So your dad's going to take you and Austin out to dinner, or make you something at his place and I'm going to take you to the airport tomorrow. You should probably start packing." I took my bag that I was going to take to Dad's and ran upstairs to my room. I emptied the bag and started packing basically everything in my closet, all of my make up, all of my jewelry, all of my shoes, and all of my toiletries. I took out my iPad and downloaded a few movies for the plane and put it on a charger. I put some earbuds, headphones, my laptop, probably five hundred chargers, and some books in my backpack. After I had finished packing, I looked at the clock next to my bed, only to realize I had been packing for three hours. It was 4:00, so Dad would be here in an hour and a half.

My dad arrived fifteen minutes late to pick Austin and I up, which was rather annoying. We drove to his house in an awkward silence with the occasional small talk. Austin kept glancing at each other, with kind of our own secret language. The car came to a halt and we all stepped inside the house, which was probably twice the size of ours, which made me kind of mad, knowing that he had the upper hand in the divorce.
After a dinner that turned out better than it started, Austin and I were picked up by our mom. I couldn't wait to go on the trip tomorrow, I was counting down the hours until my plane was supposed to arrive in London. Once we got home, I gave my mom a hug and said goodnight and walked upstairs with Austin, who couldn't believe I was going to be gone for a month, all alone, across the ocean. I could barely believe it either. I gave him a big hug and told him how much I loved him before going to bed, knowing that I wouldn't see him for a month.
I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 2:00 AM. I quickly got out of bed and raced to brush my teeth and get ready. I out my toothbrush and toothpaste in my suitcase and ran down the stairs. I got to the kitchen and quickly made a smoothie for breakfast. I heard my mom rush up the stairs; she slept in the basement. She took an apple out of the bowl in the center of the kitchen counter and we both left. I excitedly talked all about the fun things I was going to do in England the whole car ride to the airport, only to look over and see tears falling down my mom's face. "What's wrong, Mom?"
"I'm just going to miss you so much." She said with her voice cracking in between every word.
"I love you so much and you know I'm not going to be gone for that long!" I said, grabbing her hand.
"Your dad and I got you these credit cards, each one has a sum of money on it, but we didn't want to get you one card in case they didn't accept it and here's some cash." She told me, putting her and in her pocket and taking out a wallet full of money and credit cards.
"Thank you so much!" I said, it really did seem like a lot.
"Enjoy your trip, sweetie. I love you so much!" She told me as she pulled up to the curb outside of one of the many entrances to the airport.
"I love you, too!" I replied and kissed her on the cheek before getting out of the car and opening up the trunk to reveal to gigantic suitcases and my backpack. I struggled inside with the suitcases and through a long line until I got to the register and checked them and got my boarding pass. I trudged through security and even made it to my gate a bit early so I turned around and walked to the nearest restaurant I could find, which just so happened to be a bagel shop, and got a bagel for a second breakfast.
After the flight to Boston, I got off the plane and headed to McDonald's to get lunch, since that was the only place around and walked over to my gate to wait out the thirty minute layover before getting on my flight to London. I was so excited!
I endured the terribly long flight, which seemed short since I was so happy that I was going to be in the UK. I got off the plane and wandered around in circles trying to find out where to go for customs. "Hey, do you need help?" A guy, probably two years older than me asked. My heart started pounding really hard in my chest, like a thousand bullets or a bass drum being hit as fast as possible on repeat.
"Yeah, actually, I have to go through customs since I'm from America." I said feeling my cheeks get really hot.
"I'll show you the way since I have to go through them to because I'm from Scotland." He told me with his adorable accent, which I now recognized as Scottish.
"I'm Taylor, by the way." I said as my shoulder brushed his leather jacket.
"I'm Adam."

Hello, I'm Caroline! This is my first book on Wattpad, so I really hope that you enjoy it. Please click the vote button and comment any suggestions, tips, compliments, criticism, etc.

Songs - Should've Said No by Taylor Swift <--- all rights are to Taylor Swift and Big Machine Records ~ no copyright infringement intended