My Dearest Darling

Chapter 47

"Now that was unexpected!" Robert exclaimed, putting his black hat on as they stepped onto the pavement of yet another busy London street. Just above them was the window of Murray's office, where they had just spent an hour going through several papers and listening to their lawyer explain the exact conditions to them.

"Unexpected, but not unwelcome, I should say," Mary retorted, already on the lookout for a taxi that could take them to Aunt Rosamund's house in Belgrave Square, as they had planned the day before. She had to squint until her eyes had accustomed to the sun beaming brightly down on the city on this cloudless and yet still quite cold day in March.

Raising her hand, she successfully hailed one of the black motors driving around the city. Their number increased continuously, there seemed to be more of them driving up and down the streets every time she came to the bustling capital.

Her father opened the door to the motorcar Mary had just hailed to take them to Belgrave Square, holding out his hand to help her inside before getting in and sitting down next to her in the back seat. "Definitely not," he said with a slight smile. "How does it feel?"

Mary was looking straight ahead and out the windscreen, thinking about what to answer because she was not quite sure what exactly she was feeling at that moment. A little while later, she contemplatively replied: "Strangely liberating, and also constricting at the same time. I am glad that I am finally free of him, but I can't help but feel sad and angry with myself, too. I failed. After Matthew, I never thought I would be happy again, not in that way. Then he came along and we had some good times together, he got me out of that dark haze. And still, that was not enough. I was not enough. I now have a son whose father died the day he was born and a daughter whose father hasn't been there for most of her life, and that is not likely to change for the better with this situation. I am their mother, and I failed them. I only hope I did not doom all of us for all eternity by signing those papers in there."

He huffed a small laugh at her contradicting feelings; after all, he could not imagine what it felt like. There had been a moment years ago when he thought this might have been a possible outcome for them, not that he had wished for it, but he was all the more glad that they had managed to patch things up and bounce back; not in the least due to his mother's interference. He had no idea what he would do without his Cora. But his daughter was in an entirely different situation; she had no idea what to do with her husband. Former husband.

"You haven't doomed anyone, I can assure you. None of us have an official post, so there will be no repercussions in that regard, and the people at home and in the village haven't seen much of Henry in the last months either way, so they will hardly notice. And even if they do, then it will die down soon enough." Robert took her hand and squeezed it gently, treating his daughter to a warm and encouraging smile. She needed it. When she turned to look at him with her big brown eyes full of surprise and deep sadness, he said: "You have not failed them, you have not failed anyone. Some differences are simply too big to overcome, and your taking this step was right. For you, for them, for everyone. You would have failed them had you stayed with him out of false obligation after what he's done. You deserve better, Mary."

Her hand had been trembling quite heavily when she signed her name on the document that effectively ended her marriage, and he couldn't blame her. It was a big step, an outright leap she took. But he only hoped it would lead to a better life for her than the one she had begun to get used to, he hoped for a life filled with less misery and gloom. She deserved that freedom, that happiness. God knows, they all did after everything they had been through the past year.

"What do you say, we go to see Rosamund and after that, I treat you and her to dinner at the Ritz?" Robert asked, an excited and mischievous twinkle in his eye. He had not been there for years and he felt like celebrating today, they all had ample reason. Although he was aware of the fact that he would feel guilty that Cora couldn't enjoy the evening together with them. Robert knew she had wanted to come with them to London, but she was still far too weak. She had seen reason, though, and opted to stay home and practice her walking with Baxter by her side instead. And this way she would get to enjoy having her grandchildren to herself for tea; she had told him once that she not-so-secretly hoped they would ask her to tell another story. She loved having them hang onto her every word as she either talked about the exciting and adventurous things she had experienced on travels with their donk or as she told them another fairytale or read from another one of their favourite books. She cherished those moments.