My Dearest Darling

Chapter 25

"When did you get back last night?"

She sounded tired, exhausted even. That was a sensation he had already got used to after her health had started to decline in the weeks that had passed since her diagnosis. It concerned him, but he knew that it was all part of her illness and he had found that commenting on it only made her more irritated about it all.

Bates had just left the suite after getting him dressed for the day, and Robert decided to wake up Cora before ringing for some breakfast for them, even though she would likely eat next to nothing. What he had not anticipated, however, was Cora already sitting up in bed, clearly wide awake when he entered the room again. With a surprised smile on his lips, he walked over to her to kiss her good morning like he usually did, sitting down on the edge of his side of the bed — which was not at all as comfortable as the bed he was used to from home, but that much was to be expected.

"Oh, quite late, I am afraid. I could not get to sleep for some reason. I hope I did not wake you up when I left and returned?"

"No, no, you did not. I woke up thirsty during the night and found your side of the bed empty, and quite cold to the touch. You must have already been gone for a while by that point. I merely wondered where you had gone."

Should he tell her that he talked to Bates? Or should he lie and say that he was only in the room next door, reading or writing an important letter that could not wait until morning?

No, this was Cora — how could he even consider lying? She would know he was not being honest the instant he opened his mouth. She always did.

"I left the suite a while after you had fallen asleep, not wanting to wake you with my constant turning," he said in the end, deeming it unnecessary to veil the truth.

"Please tell me that you did not go outside in this freezing winter weather in the middle of the night, Robert," Cora said, looking at him with a wide-eyed expression of worry on her pale face.

"Don't you worry, I was not outside on the deck in the cold. I merely went to the lower decks and talked to Bates. I could not keep this from him any longer, it would not have been fair. After all, I dragged him away from his family to travel halfway around the world without telling him anything as to why. I owed him that honesty, and it helped me sleep better afterwards. He asked me a while ago to tell him if and when there was any cause for concern, and this was as good a chance as any."

Cora stretched out her cold hand, letting it come to rest on his atop the soft bedding. She smiled shyly at him, almost guiltily. "I know this was not easy for you, though I am glad that you talked to him. I wanted to tell you to do that weeks ago, but I did not want to pressure you into this. I wanted to give you the space to do it on your own time."

His eyes wandered from her face to their hands. He looked at her long and slender fingers that appeared outright bony, her rings looking far too big on her now. It almost seemed as if the simple gold wedding band alone crushed her hand, not to mention the diamond engagement ring Rosamund helped him pick out all those years ago.

Robert looked up from where their hands were joined to meet her gaze. "How did you know that I ever would?"

"Robert, you have known that man for over three decades. The two of you have served in a war together and you fought so hard to keep him here with us not just once but twice. You kept him on as your valet even when he was an, albeit wrongly, convicted felon. Mister Bates is much more than just your valet, he is one of your closest friends. I know you, Robert. It truly was only a matter of time until you finally confided in him."

He leaned in closer, letting his free hand come up to gently stroke her cheek. "You do know me too well, my dear, it is rather scary sometimes. I did not even know that I was going down to see him until I stood in front of his door and knocked last night."