Best Friend

5: Caring Soul

"Why hadn't you replied to my text?" I scolded the minute Faizal answered my call. The clock had strike 2 at the night.

"What are you doing up, this late?" His voice was filled with concern.

"Because I was waiting for those lines to turn blue." I confessed, as I stood from the bed walking towards the widow. "How are you?" I whispered not wanting to wake up Siddhi.

"Fine..." he sighed.

"You aren't!" I argued, "I can feel it..." There was a silence for a minute I waited for him to deny, to cover up but he kept quiet. "Everything is going to be fine, Faizal. He might be just..."

"I want to see you," that heaviness in his voice broke my heart into numerous pieces.

"Now?" I sounded uncertain. Were we allowed to meet at such at hour? Why it felt forbidden? He didn't say a word, he had never asked me for a thing before... Never forced a thing, never demanded for time or ear to listen. It was me who always had to force him to share, that he could depend on me. He could share about his days; he could be expressive. He could trust me!

"Where?" I inquired, I needed to be there for him because he voices indicated that he needed me.

"Just open the door," there was longing hidden behind his voice. I rushed towards the door, passed a glance at sleeping Siddhi before unlocking the door. I doubted if the mature Faizal Qureshi I knew would ever act impulsive? Like budging into our room at mid-night. Especially, when his parents were against our arrival. Yet he had taken the risk, there was bigger force at work. He wasn't able to dispose his thoughts. He wasn't able to sleep. My restlessness was valid!

The minute I opened the door, I breathed as if I was holding my breath from a long time. Why he affected me to such a level was beyond me? I felt physical as well as emotional pain at the mere thought of him being upset. I couldn't bare it!

Siddhi concluded my restlessness as a valid behavior. I do care about my friends and loved-ones but I wasn't that concerned the way, I am for him. My entire world takes a full-stop at the mere thought of him in pain. I had never loved someone the way, I love him. It scares me! It haunts me because I am aware of the end-result. I am aware about the consequences.

He was staring at me, exhaustion visible in his orbs. "Come in..." I requested, as I directed him to enter. He considered it for a minute before skipping into the room. I closed it as he entered, I turned to find him glancing at Siddhi's sleeping figure.

"I shouldn't have disturbed," there was a guilt hidden in the statement.

"You didn't disturb," I felt the need to assure him. "I wasn't sleeping."

"And I was the reason behind it," the guilt was taking a ride over his senses.

"Can you stop blaming yourself for everything?" I lost my temper. "And stop allowing people to blame you as well!" I was glaring at him, "please..." I requested at the end seeing his emotionless face. "You're not responsible for every single thing. You're allowed to be human as much as any of us. You don't need to be perfect, always correct. You're allowed to make mistake." I was pleading with him. My orbs were brimming with tears.

His orbs soften as he took a step towards me, "you should stop getting so worried about me." His voice was soft as if he was trying hard to hold his emotions in check.

"You think, that I don't try?" I yelled at him in frustration. "I simply, can't! And that annoys the shit out of me." He chuckled listening to my complain. He shook his head as he took another step forward, we were inches away from each other.

"Can I ask you something?" There was hesitation in his voice. I stared into his black orbs not providing him with a response. "I need a hug..." he sighed as he shook his head at his request, "I... let it..." he was going to take a step back but I moved forward. "You don't have to... I was... I was..." He seemed loss of words, "I felt lost..."