Life After You And Me

Surreal Contentment

A part of this excursion is to make up for leaving her birthday party. Even though I'd informed her I was leaving, I hated not being a part of the rest of her special day.

Her dad wasn't very happy about my abrupt exit, understandably, but the reason I didn't tell him I was leaving was because I couldn't find him in the crowd before I left, so I sent him a message after. I've since apologized and it's water under the bridge now... I hope.

Speaking of her father.

"How's the wedding planning going?"
It probably has nothing to do with me, but I've been wondering when my wedding invite would come around. And then I remembered Olli is my ex-husband and I probably wouldn't make the guest list. Understandably.

I don't even know if I would go if I got the invite, it's not like he and I are close, or Sophia and I for that matter. The only thing that ties us to each other is Zoe. Without her, we're as good as strangers.

"Sophia keeps planning but Daddy keeps pushing it back."

The poor man is probably still traumatized by his last attempt at a marriage.

Choosing not to pry any further, I say,

"Sophia will make a stunning bride."
The girl already looks like a model, I can only imagine that flawless figure in a wedding gown.

"Yes, she will."

We silently ride the rest of the way, stopping on the road to buy a bouquet of flowers, and then we soon arrive at the familiar cemetery where my sister's lifeless body lies.

Zoe and I talk about nothing in particular as we walk the distance to the other side of the cemetery.

She mumbles on about a boy at school who won't stop bothering her, but my attention is soon stolen by a figure in the otherwise empty cemetery, seemingly walking away from the section that has Mimi's tombstone.

There are a few stones in that section they could've been visiting but the frail and delicate person whose slender physique lacks in muscular tone catches my attention nonetheless.

As Zoe and I get closer to the tombstone, the stranger walks further away from us. After carefully studying them for a while, I say,

"Mom?"
My voice is so low it almost doesn't come out at all.

I'm aware I sound inquisitive but I don't doubt it's her. That's the woman who gave me life.

My heart constricts as I continue to register her appearance. I've never seen her skinny before, she's always had a more protruded figure. Something's wrong.

I want to run to her and hug her. I want to scream, 'Mom' so loud that she looks in my direction. All wounds would be healed and we would start from where we ended.

But I know better.

The last time I saw my mother she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me. I can handle the rejection again but I wouldn't want to put Zoe through that. Especially since she'd queried about my parents endlessly.

Somehow she forgot they exist and I was grateful because I couldn't handle lying to her innocent face anymore.

And so finally, I return my attention to the gravel road ahead, choosing to respect the boundary line she drew to keep me away.