Taylor Swift - Mother Imagines (GxG+P)

10.2 | You're Gone.

TW_ Self harm and suicide talk

Still on the CPR task, Taylor was losing hope, but she would never. It's her baby girl. She couldn't and wouldn't give up. She could faintly hear the operator speaking.

"Taylor, They're here. Can you let them in, please?"

"I will let my security team know, yeah." Taylor rushed through her words, She was too damn concentrated on trying to save her daughter's life.

"Taylor, are you still here? How's the CPR doing?" She was asked.

"No signs." Taylor answered.

"Taylor.."

"No, don't! I'm.. gonna.. save.. my.. baby!" Taylor screamed out of her deepest lung force. She needed Blair to come back. She NEEDED her babygirl back. Done and said, Blair had a pulse again. Her hand swelled against her daughter's chest. Blair started fussing and coughing. Taylor wagged her, she was really hot, bering dangerous;

"Oh, my God. She 's back! She 's back!" Taylor cried. "Oh, my god, in here." She screamed to the medics that were let in by security. "Please, help my Blair" she wailed.

"We're gonna do everything possible, Miss. Please, away. We need to scoop her onto the bed." One of the medics said.

Her daughter was now back, alive in her arms. Just as soon, the medics put Blair on the rescue basket, asking for some space again, to do their job. In the meantime, Taylor sobbed at the corner of Blair's room. She couldn't fathom losing her daughter. Her babygirl. Her darling.

"Come on, she needs to be transferred." they said, carrying her away without talking to Taylor. She made a swift move despite the blurry sight.

"I'm coming!"

"Are you in a plausible mental state or would you rather call someone?"

" She's my daughter, I come." Taylor finished not discussing this further.

Making her away inside the hospital, Taylor tried to run with the doctors that wheeled her girl, but she was denied access.

"No, please!" She pleaded.

"We're gonna save her, I promise." Taylor nodded. She couldn't breathe, and speed dialed her mom.

"Mom," Taylor sobbed, "Please, come to Langone, please!" she screamed.

"Taylor, what happened? Please, breathe."

"Blair overdosed. Just please, Mommy." Andrea needed no more words.

"I'll be there in five."

Taylor was taken to a private room. She was breaking down on the ground, she wasn't okay and she needed space. She couldn't deal with the situation on her own, let alone with a bunch of cameras around. Andrea had already gotten to the hospital, but she was sorting the paperwork that would normally be Taylor's. She had already returned to Taylor's side, and they were now expecting the doctor.

"Miss Swift?" he asked.

"Here, in here!" Taylor screamed.

"Oh, hi there. I'm gonna need you to sit down for this." he started, " Taylor, your daughter had an overdose. Our conclusion is that she tried to take her own life. Her cortisol levels are really, really high. She went into cardiac arrest twice more, but she's alright. She's up in the children's ICU. She's awake, but still a little groggy from the medication effects. Would you like to see her?"

"Yes, please." Taylor cried.

"Okay, I need you to get dressed in this yellow gown; put on some gloves, as well. "

Taylor did what was instructed to her, still teary eyed. As soon as she saw Blair, she couldn't help but cry once again. Blair was hooked to a monitor that showed her breathing frequency and her heartbeat, along to some other stuff. She tossed around the bed, as if she was trying to get out of the "trap", but stopped as she saw Taylor approaching her.

"Baby girl!" She singsonged, breaking down.

"Mom.. I'm.. I'm sorry-" no more words. Taylor hugged her daughter tightly.

"I love you unconditionally. Everything will be alright, I'm here for you. I love you, honey. I understand your pain, but I need you here. I'm nothing without you. I understand If you'd rather not talk about it now. For right now, I'm just glad you're okay."

Taylor kissed Blair's face a thousand times, probably. And did so until she had to leave. Yet, she promised her kid that she'd be back the next day.

And so she did.

Taylor spent at least three hours with Blair everyday at the ICU. Every single minute she had was dedicated to Blair. Since she was on the psych ward for children, Taylor wasn't able to spend the night, but as soon as the doors opened, there she was, soaking up every single minute with the younger girl, scared to death something might happen again.

Until one day, Taylor arrived at the hospital like she normally would, but found Blair having a panic attack.

"Blair? Babygirl, what's the matter? Breathe. Come on, breathe with me." Taylor instructed. "There's only you and I here. You're okay. Breathe in, deep. You're alright, sweet girl. Take your time. Mommy's here, and she's not leaving your side" Taylor said, taking her time to kiss her daughter's hand and shaggy hair. Once she had calmed down, Taylor was still there, a breezy look on her eyes. She was really calm. Too calm.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.

"I know this is tough, so I'm gonna help you know my input. Baby, I'm not mad. I'm not upset. I'm not disappointed. I know recovery will take a tool. I know it will be hard, but I'd also like you to know that I'll be here for everything. I love you, you're my perfect little angel. Also, whenever you feel that way, please try and talk to me. Or anyone, really. It's not embarrassing to ask for help, love. It's perfectly okay. I have asked for help. Your meemaw has asked for help. Everyone has, and it's okay for you to do so. You are not someone's opinion about you. You're your own person. It's okay to take it easy if life is too much at times."

"I-I just feel like.. like I failed. Like I'm weak." Blair sniffled.

"No, baby. Never that. The scars in your arms don't make you weaker, quite the contrary, they make you stronger. It's great that you're willing to talk to me. I hope you know you can always reach out for help, and that I'm so proud of you, honey girl. Growing up can be tough. You won't win all battles. And that's also okay. I've found solace over the fact that yes, it's okay to fail. And, you should fail. If you never, how could you know you're doing the right thing in life?" she said. "

"Sometimes I just feel as if everything would be easier if I wasn't here."

"You have no idea how it pains me that you'd ever think that, but I don't blame you. I have also thought this, but I told myself off. And you can do it, too. You deserve to be here. You were given the gift of life. Don't throw away a lifetime of beauty because you were shy to reach out. I love you, Blair Hope Swift. Love you to the moon and to saturn."

Blair had a huge recovery ahead of her, but she knew that Taylor would be there with her, And that made it 100% better.