Howdy; sorry for my long delay. Sadly my health declined quiet rapidly over the past few weeks, with bone issues and normal sickness taking me out. haven't made a lot of comments, or author's notes as I felt I was over doing it and wanted to make sure I wasn't making this mostly author's notes in the end. With that said, I wanted to share what happened, why I disappeared for a while, and what I'm working on right now.
First off, I've been working on my art, trying to learn how to draw to create my own cover as well as to draw some concept art for the characters for long term sharing; this is taking a lot as I am not very good, as well as have never had any basic training for art and am working off of personal research and barely understood basics.
Secondly, I have had some trouble trying to work out where I'm going with my story. As I've said a few times (maybe too many) I want this to be a romance, with a world that has a cohesive style and setting. This has lead me to have split work, with macro and micro details being built at the same time. Things like family dynamic and how the employees see the family on a micro scale; and the macro being how the fiefs and commoner class view the nobility and priests, with the different countries having their own views. Along with this I've been trying to figure out how I'm going to implement magic, and how I'll properly apply the ideas of magic with an MP system into a world where the people don't know about such systems. As to say, it started as a game world and was built into a real one. I want magic to be an interesting system that can be built into the world and give some applications outside of war, and how it affects the citizens; I think I talked about that in the last author's note but I'll reiterate it here.
Thirdly, mentally I am constantly out of touch with you guys. With how little I get from y'all I sometimes feel like I can't share or ask for real assistance outside of asking for comments or critique, and I don't know if I am really giving you guys a story you like; I do feel you guys enjoy my story, with how many votes I get for the actual chapters, but it is more a mental fear in a sense. I understand you guys wouldn't read it if I didn't make something worth reading, but that is a logical understanding, with the emotional aspect being a fear it isn't living up to what you'd want. I hope that rambling made sense...
Fourth, school. I'm still in school and so I do my work at the end (or during but we don't talk about that) of school, and so when it is weighing down on me I don't get as much time to work on my story, duh. It's not flashy, not really a heavy burden as everything else, but it's a simple fact of life that affects how my story comes out, and why I'm sometimes so late.
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With that said, and with it dusted as it's more a ramble, I'd like to open discussion as I do some work to finish up chapter 10 and we go into the five-ish year old life:
Magic is a big component, and I'd like to hear some ideas, even as I already cook something up. To get outside ideas is usually what helps me build better systems, and I want to have a sense of what my audience is looking for. I doubt I'd get it right on the first try, but to mitigate bad ideas I want to hear some simple stuff running around y'alls heads, and if you want I don't mind having my brain picked as I work stuff out in later Author's notes.
Secondly, I'd like to bring about some ideas that are a bit heavy; I have already done some work with PTSD related things, but I want to try and bring that around to the healing... Which sadly means it needs to be slathered down to bring someone out of it. I know it is not exactly how life goes, but it's a way I believe can share the experiences many people go through, as well as the partners, friends, and family that can and do help people with such a condition. It isn't easy, and I won't make it quick (nor the over-arching focus to the point it takes up the entire story) but it is something I want to make more prominent. My family has a lot of history with this and I hope I can help others understand the mindset many people face during those dark times. To the discussion aspect, I'd like ask how you, as a reader, feel about this.
While I, personally, want to write about it and share the ideas it isn't always effective or good writing to do what I feel like, and I want to fine-tune my writing, so I'd love to hear any concerns, or just wants as I go further with this sort of story. If it gets to heavy, or just feels like I'm fetishizing I'd want to have an open and clear understanding with my audience so that they can make it clear if it is heading beyond a genuine attempt. While I know it might be weird to state this overtly, I want to respect my audience and the way they read my stories as much as possible and this sort of route is something I feel should be understood as my direction (as this is a "weekly" thing) while also assuring that I don't push my hand too far into something I can't say I have full experience with.
Thirdly, I'd like to try and work-out some things for the MC to deal with; focusing at first with the "blessing" stuff, and I'd like to hear suggestions.
For the things I have right now I'd like to hear any complaints, or ideas, and just anything later on. While I may not implement it, as I said above it helps me flesh out everything and understand what pushes on the levels of "too OP." As someone who, personally, doesn't like power fantasies (ironic to some I am sure) I like to have a balance that could either be low power, or everyone can get to the same level. Sort of the idea that you find in games, especially RPGs where you can be weaker but beat someone of higher "power" with skill or technique, or you can be strong but at a cap-stone everyone else can reach with enough time.
Though I do have a skewed idea since I've only played single-player RPGs (FE-three houses, Skyrim, that sort of thing). When it is all said and done I just like to have something where everyone can beat anyone so long as you understand the system you work with, and trying to do that with a idea that in a sense had pre-set rules that don't apply to a dynamic world where people can think and create outside the box is hard, but super rewarding.
I hope I can get feedback, thought this part might just be me rambling again.
Lastly, love interests! As our MC is going to be growing up I'd love to hear stuff of love interests, and how they could meet! Now this could be people who fall for her or just the love interests of the game and why they might turn against her. Any ideas or thoughts I am really open too! I haven't worked it all out yet, though I do have a rough draft running through my head, and it always brings a smile to think about any interests honestly.
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With all that said, thank you for being patient. I know it's not easy to read a story that is incomplete, inconsistent with posting, and takes so long for small chapters (in the writing world at least). Because of that I appreciate every single one of you, and can't thank you enough for reading my story, and taking the time out of your day to enjoy my world. Hopefully I will get to a point where I have less author notes than chapters again, but till then I'll just have to write, write, and write.
As always thanks for reading, thanks for your time, and till we meet again,
-Sphinx
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