𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

32‣ 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙

and maybe Hyunjin should just stop worrying and get this over with, but somehow, the words twist and tangle in his throat like lovers in a ballroom on a full moon night, hiding away in corridors clad by shadows to whisper giggles in one another's ears and press affectionate kisses to mouths. He can't speak when he feels Felix turn toward him, setting away the glass on the nightstand next to the bed as he exhales a soft sigh and places his hands on his lap, awaiting Hyunjin's statements

Hyunjin is looking down at Felix's nails, watching the antiquely royal vision of his room from his periphery, unable to form any words, the warm hues of brown and gold splicing into unshaped objects in his mind. "So?" Felix exhales another sigh like he's attempting to gather Hyunjin's attention but appears to be failing, which is as rare as a fire tornado honestly because when has Hyunjin ever failed to give Felix attention? (Hint: never) Felix watches the man quietly, observing how he tries to make up words in his mind by biting the inside of his cheeks before he finally looks up at Felix.

It was time perhaps, time to start letting Felix know every truth he had concealed, to make him aware and let him go on his own accord. Something becomes heavy in Hyunjin's chest when he opens his mouth to speak, his mind going blank because he had willingly paused all and every thought that could cross his mind so he could focus on this moment solely. Felix's morning-dew-like eyes look back into Hyunjin's and the man just feels his chest growing tighter, tighter, and tighter until he has to physically exhale and let go of the tension building inside

"What is the last thing you remember?"

Hyunjin starts with a soft launch, wanting to tread the unexpecting waters. Felix's brown curious eyes stare into his for a second, trying to search through his scattered memories and discover what he last lived through, or remembers to have lived through. Pictures flash through his foggy mind like he's flipping through a book, trying to pick out the one that feels the most recent, the last one. The cinema screen rolls in, Hyunjin's glittering eyes fall forward too, the kiss, the touch, everything electric, the walk back home, the texts

and then it stops abruptly, as if the pages won't flip anymore, Felix tries to focus more and flourish something else but whatever he thinks of disappears immediately after appearing like mist in the night. Hyunjin sits patiently, remembering Jisoo's words and letting Felix work through the after-effects of the drug. Though the anger does rise in Hyunjin but the gasp that follows his surge of wrath quickly disperses it and forces his attention back on Felix, he stares and waits patiently, nervous that the bad things have come back to the boy that have elicited such a reaction

rogue kisses Felix's cheeks as he stares at Hyunjin with wide eyes and a hand over his lips, Hyunjin can't truly decipher what Felix's reaction means because it seems more flustered than distressed. After a few seconds, Felix finally removes his hand from his mouth and stares at Hyunjin with furrowed brows, biting on his lower lip as he tries to form the embarrassing words in his throat to become sentences. "Did you-did we fucked so much that I literally blacked out for a day?" The whisper comes out lightly, quiet as a feather rustling. His eyes are a little wider now when he gazes back into Hyunjin's

And even if it took Hyunjin a few seconds to understand Felix, his eyes immediately enlarged when he did so. "That I don't even remember us having dinner! Or whatever we did, anything at all!" Felix bites back a shriek as he continues with his horrendous scenario which makes no sense. Hyunjin is stumbling over his thoughts as he shakes his head no, though it would not have been too much of an unexpected situation considering the way they behaved like rabbits with one another

Hyunjin's head-shakes become faster as he finally mutters out words; "No, no Felix that's not what happened" Though he can't help but wonder how nice it would have been if it did, how Felix wouldn't have ever gotten hurt, how his safety would remain intact and how everything would be fine, how Hyunjin won't have to reveal it all and risk ruining what they have. Hyunjin sighs and lowers his neck, looking down at the mattress to gather his thoughts before he looks up with an exhale, eyes meeting with a befuddled Felix's