Overruled

Prologue - The Long Goodbye

As the newlyweds initiate their first dance, someone stood right next to me and asked warily, "Why didn't you profess how much you love her?" Not taking our eyes off the couple who's lovingly swaying to the tune of their favorite song while the subtle glow of the setting sun quietly rests behind the background of a dazzling turquoise-laden sea.

"I can never give her what she wanted. I am not what she needed," I responded with a heavy, pounding feeling against my chest. 

Seeing the soft glow in her eyes – her hazel eyes that are now only meant for the man who is rhythmically whirling her around and adoringly caressing her back, I felt blood rushing to my face as I fight the urge to breakdown.

"But you could've at least tried," the person beside me insisted.

Holding back the tears, I turned to the woman beside me and said, "It wouldn't matter..."

With the look of concern, she wrapped me around her embrace and I returned the gesture as I whispered to her, "Mom, I have to go."

She released me from her embrace and kissed me lightly on the cheek, "You have to be polite, anak. You have to say goodbye."

I smiled politely and gave her a nod.

Every step I have to endure as I advance is agony; like I am slowly sinking as I near the dance floor bracing myself for an impending depression bound to last a lifetime. 

Their song is almost over. I muster all the courage I have in my system to tell her that I must leave without confessing that I'm leaving for good. 

For good, I thought. I must not let my emotions get the best of my sanity and reasoning.

"Just five freaking minutes," I convinced myself.

As the music stopped playing, she saw me standing at the corner of the dance floor, patiently waiting for her to approach me - waiting like I have always waited for her when we were still in college until we had our fair share of responsibilities with work and family. 

I have always been the person standing in one corner, waiting.

She signaled "one minute" to me and I nodded.

"Damn, can't this go any faster?" I murmured feeling the thump of my uncontrollable heart. I have to get out of here now! My nerves are going crazy.

Walking towards me is my friend who I have loved the very moment I laid eyes on her. She looks stunning in her classic ivory wedding dress that faultlessly embraced her stunning physique. 

Why is she so perfect?

I try to create a smile that will fool even my deeply departed ancestors. Yes, I thought, this is how I should present myself. This is most appropriate. Right this very moment, seeing her happy is my top priority.

"There you are. I thought you'd never make it," she said as she squeezed me tightly into her warm embrace. Her scent of wild gardenia and jasmine, the scent that I have always adored, sends more signals to my nerves and triggers a churning effect in my gut, making it hard for me to stay still.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I responded as I hugged her back. 

I should've not come. Everything about this is making me harder to breathe. Should've conjured up a very good excuse like being in a traffic accident, or plane crash, or being kidnapped - something believable. Anything, just so I would not be standing right here, trying to gather the courage to look her in those hazel eyes, see her happy with someone else, and finally bid her goodbye.