Leave me alone.
Shivaay's skin crawled. It felt like thousands of insects had crept under his skin. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to take a deep breath. It worked this time around even though it was shaky. His hand however irritated rubbed the back of his neck. Now that didn't work. His skin continued to tingle. He got frustrated. He scratched his chest. Once. Twice. Thrice...
"Stop."
Anika's hand stopped his hand. Shivaay felt her roughly hold his hand. He opened his eyes to look at her. She was furious.
He sighed. Staring at her glaring eyes, he asked, "Have I pissed you off too?"
She momentarily closed her eyes. But the very next second, she pulled him close and wrapped her hands around him. She stroked his back.
"Rubbish!" Anika chastised him. "You can never piss me off."
Shivaay bit back a sob. He deepened the hug. Everything else was bullshit. Only this, Anika, the new life he was living, only that was the real deal. But then, why did his heart hurt so much on seeing his mother weep like that? Why did his breath hitch in his throat at the thought of his father being sick? Why did the vision of Om begging on his knees burn his mind? His Dadi...why did that threaten to crush his being? He shuddered.
Anika pulled herself back. She examined his chest and winced. "Shivaay, what have you done?
Shivaay glanced at his chest. It was now red and marked with scratches of his nails. He blinked. It wasn't new. There was a resigned sigh. He closed his eyes again. He let his head fall on Anika's shoulder.
"It's fine, Shivaay..." she caressed his hair. "Everything is okay. Yeah?"
"Yeah..." he answered gruffly.
He didn't wish to stress Anika out. It just didn't seem fair. And to be honest, they all would get over this issue too. He just needed to get a grip on himself. Though, Shivaay wanted to chuckle at the irony of it all. A few years back, he was on his knees, begging them to understand him. Now the roles had reversed and how.
"I just got a little overwhelmed. I am sorry." Shivaay dropped a kiss on the side of Anika's head.
She gave him a teary smile. "You don't need to be. You can always share anything with me. Just that, don't hurt yourself. Do you hear that?"
Shivaay nodded. "I hear you."
"Good." She smiled and rubbed his beard. She observed his features for a long time. Then she broke the silence. "I know what you are thinking."
Of course she did, Shivaay wanted to tell her. But he just let out a tired breath. She sadly confessed, "You know, I had a very different graph in mind when we landed here. But all this is just very sad. I agreed to come here because I thought that it would be over in a day. You will meet Dadi and then we will leave. All this is just...heartbreaking."
Shivaay's eyelids drooped. He whispered to himself and admitted, "It is."
Anika chuckled bitterly. "Dadi used to jokingly say that you are the neev, the foundation of this house. Without you, it would crumble. Turns out, she was right."
So she had noticed the state of the house too. It was indeed crumbling. He didn't want to think about it but in half a day, the things he was noticing felt like they were haunting him. If something happened to them, how would he feel? What would the world say? That the son couldn't save his own family? Shivaay shook his head. No. He didn't need to think all of that. He was putting his leg in the trap again. This wasn't his mess. He didn't need to clean it. But what if his mother...
