Hypermutant

Chapter 9 | Telepathic Hearts

The door clicks shut behind me and I suppress a shiver. My padoto sits huddled on his wheelchair, facing the window on the opposite side of the room. His chair rolls back as he turns, a smile on his face. "Anlor," he says but doesn't move any closer as his gaze drifts up to my brown hair. He raises his darkened hand to his own overgrown green-blue strands. "I see you've decided to try something different as well."

I nod, my shoulders relaxing. He recognizes me. He waves me over to the visitor's couch. I sit and forget how words work for a moment. Preparing myself for the best was not something I thought to do.

"Coya hatte esare'tu?" he offers with a smile I didn't know I missed so much until now.

"I've been all right." Not wanting to talk about the inhibitor nightmare, I opt for the first thing that comes to mind. "I was on a date today," I tell him. "To the prince's coronation, to be exact."

He demands details with a smile on his face and I retell the evening in as much detail as I can. The edges of my vision blur, and I know the new inhibitor is starting to take effect. Padoto's brow twists in confusion when I casually mention Morq, and the deep violet-blue water in his eyes veil questions lingering at the tip of his tongue.

Despite my altered consciousness, I know to tread with caution, not wanting to push him beyond the edge of panic. Again. It doesn't matter whether or not he remembers Morq; he might remember tomorrow, or it might not matter at all in the end.

I hurriedly push those negative thoughts away before they morph into fears and ask, "How have you been feeling, Padoto?"

He tries to shrug the question off but catches the persistence in my gaze. Turning back towards the window, he exhales deeply. "I know I've been forgetting things," he tells me, "but I... I remember what happened the last time you were here."

My heart withers in my chest at the tremble of his voice. "Ere'wa bie—"

He shakes his head. "Nie, nie ere'wa. It's not all right with me." He clasps his shaky blackened hands together. "It's my fault you couldn't visit me." I begin to argue but he silences me with a jerk of his wrist. "I told them not to let you in."

"Q-Qani?" I want him to look at me, but he turns the other way, shivering. "Poshikke? Why would you do that?" He doesn't answer. "Pachi." I place a hand on his trembling shoulder.

He finally looks up, and I realize he's not cold. I forget what I was about to ask and stare wordlessly as tears stream down his face. "Ya nientsai, Anlor." Holding up his withered hands, he adds, "How am I supposed to be alright with you seeing me like this? Watching me die."

I choke back my own tears. "You're not—I-I—" I can't speak. I can hardly breathe.

"And worse," he continues, "forgetting your very name." He turns away from me again. "I'm forgetting many things, mu'iko, but one thing I may never forget is the raw pain in your eyes that day." A calming breath later, he shakes his head. "I just couldn't do it."

I try, but I can't hold the words back for long. "You're selfish, do you know that?" He gapes at me. "You and Mahade are one and the same." I breathe, try to calm myself, fail again. "You can't keep me at a safe distance from everything," I say with all the strength I can muster. "You're my father, and I'm not going to be kept away from you no matter how much it hurts anyone. Both our clocks are ticking, and who knows whose will stop first?"

"Nie habash'tu asoyo, Anlor—"

"You don't talk like that," I cut over him. "Don't you understand?" I grab his hand. It's so cold he could be dead. "We're in the same fight. We can't waste time leaving each other."