Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 22 - "Thank You Shae"

"Let me in!" I'm yelling. "I have to get in! My friend is inside!"

"You..."

"Let me in, Clegane! I am your queen and I command you to-"

               In a sudden motion, he puts his hand on my mouth and blocks my hands against my back. My jerky breathing seems to move the ground under my feet. The Hound approaches my ear to whisper:

"You will not enter. Go to sleep elsewhere."

               After making sure I don't scream again, Clegane lets me go.

"He wouldn't hurt me" I rise up while dusting my dress.

"I'm sure you don't believe that."

"I..."

               In a long sigh, I let my arms fall down my body. He is right. In that state, Joffrey would make short work with me.

"How many are they?"

"Two" he answers. "A redhead and a brunette from the free cities."

"Is this a gift from Tyrion?"

               The Hound only gives me a brief nod. It seems that nobody listens to me in this cheap castle.

♐︎

               Back in my old room, I look at Arrow lying at the foot of the bed. That's where she comes when Joffrey chases her from our apartments. That is almost every night, depending on his mood.

               Tired by this day, I lie down without further ado. And it is always dressed, my shoes on my feet, that I fell asleep.

               I am awakened several hours later by a loud noise and grunts. On the left, I see only the dark night vaguely lit by the lights of King's Landing, a city that never sleeps. To my right, King Joffrey appears accompanied by Sir Meryn.

"We came to fetch you" says the king, waving at the soldier.

               Scared at first, I jump up. My hand is looking for some blade under my pillow but can't find any... I miss Winterfell.

"Stay away from me, you brute" I spit at Trant.

               He was the one who, this morning, laid his hand on my sister in the throne room. Another knight who got his cape without merit.

"What happens to you?" Joffrey wonders. "Don't you want to sleep in your bed?"

"I'm in bed! And I don't want to sleep with you after what you did to Ros!"

"Ros?"

               Not surprisingly, he doesn't even know the names of the girls he raped.

"The redhead" I say. 

"Oh... Yes. She's fine."

"I heard her screaming!"

"And you didn't come in?"

               Maybe I should have. The Hound wouldn't let me, but I could have given him the order to let me through. I could have stopped the massacre, protected Ros. But I preferred to protect myself.

"I now resume quarter in this chamber" I declare. "We will no longer sleep together. And I will send servants to take my things tomorrow at dawn."

"I order you to come to bed!"

"I don't obey anyone's orders!" I yell.

               Disconcertingly easy, the knight grabs me by the waist and positions me on his shoulder. No matter how much I hit him, no matter how much I gesticulate, it doesn't work. I'm trapped. I'm alone.

♐︎

               When I wake up, the bed is empty. My thighs burn, my crotch is raw. I don't bleed, but the pain is the same. My breasts are also painful and, when I lift the sheet, I find several bruises.

               The events of the past night are clear in my head, my brain has forgotten nothing. Joffrey, Meryn Trant, me. Or rather my body. Because I, Diana, wasn't really there. My members weren't responding to any of my orders, no sound coming out of my mouth.

               After a few minutes, I stopped struggling. I realized that I was not strong enough and that it was putting me in more danger. I agreed.

               The bedroom door opens without anyone knocking and Shae appears. The corridor noises circulate fast in this castle and now that the young woman is in the service of Sansa, she hears all kinds of things.

"I've... I've..." I've been limping before I burst into tears.

               The lorathi sits against me and takes my hands in hers.

"You didn't do anything" she whispers. "It's not you. It's him..."

               She wraps her little arms around me. My skin seems so fragile that I hardly dare put my head against her shoulder, lest it explode.

"Take a bath and rest."

"Thank you... thank you Shae..." I'm whispering, exhausted.