What Does Love Feel Like? | ENGLOT one shots

Too Sweet

Angsty One-shot inspired by my interpretation of Too Sweet by Hozier

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Rain lashed against the window, mirroring the storm brewing inside Engfa. Charlotte sat across from her, a mug of chamomile clutched in her hands, eyes wide and hopeful. Charlotte hummed along to a sappy love song playing on the radio, oblivious to the storm brewing inside Engfa.

Engfa finally snapped. "Shut it off, please," she rasped, her voice rough with unspoken emotions.

Charlotte's smile faltered, replaced by a worried frown. "Is everything alright, P'fa?"

"No," Engfa blurted out, the word a punch in the quiet evening. She couldn't take it anymore, the sugary innocence, the way Charlotte saw the world through rose-colored glasses.

"We can't keep doing this, Charlotte," Engfa started, her voice rough.

Charlotte's smile faltered, a tremor replacing the usual sunshine in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"This," Engfa said, gesturing vaguely between them. "Us. It's not working."

"But why?" Charlotte's voice wobbled, and Engfa felt a pang of guilt, a bitter aftertaste in her mouth.

"You're sunshine and chamomile, Charlotte," Engfa said, the words sharp on her tongue. "Everything with you is soft and sweet. You see the good in everything, and I..." she trailed off, unable to voice the darkness that coiled within her.

"You want someone who... understands that darkness?" Charlotte whispered, her voice trembling.

"I don't know what I want!" Engfa exclaimed, throwing her hands up."But this... this sweetness of yours, it's suffocating me. It makes me want to lash out, to remind myself that the world isn't all rainbows and butterflies."

Charlotte's lower lip trembled. "I'm sorry, P'fa. I can change-"

"No," Engfa cut her off, the harshness surprising even herself. "That's not you. It'll never be you."

"I don't care! I want to be with you, Engfa. I love-"

"Love?" Engfa scoffed, a humorless sound. "Don't say that. You think you love the idea of me, the danger, the mystery. But that's all a facade, Charlotte. Underneath, I'm just as broken as the world we live in."

A single tear escaped Charlotte's eye, tracing a glistening path down her cheek. "But Engfa, you light up when you smile. You have so much good in you, I can see it."

Engfa scoffed. "Maybe you see what you want to see, Charlotte. Maybe I'm not the person you think I am."

Silence returned, thick and heavy. Engfa watched the fragile hope flicker and die in Charlotte's eyes. A pang of guilt stabbed at her heart. Charlotte was everything good, everything pure, and Engfa, she reveled in the shadows.

"I wish I could love you, Charlotte," Engfa finally admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "I truly do. But I can't... I can't corrupt you."

Tears welled up in Charlotte's eyes, glistening like unwanted pearls. Engfa looked away, unable to bear the sight.

"Maybe," Engfa whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears. "Maybe in another life, we could have been something sweet. But this life, Charlotte, it demands something bitter. Something I can't give you, and something you wouldn't want."

Silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. Engfa saw the hope drain from Charlotte's face, replaced by a deep, soul-crushing sadness. It mirrored the storm outside, a tempest of unspoken emotions.

"I wish I could love the things you love," Engfa said, her voice softer now. "I wish I could see the world through your rose-colored glasses. But I can't."

A tear escaped, tracing a glistening path down Charlotte's cheek.  "I..." Charlotte's voice hitched. "I think I should go."

Engfa looked away, unable to meet her eyes. A part of her ached, a hollow ache that mirrored the emptiness in the room. But another part, the part that craved the bitter truth, was strangely relieved.

"Goodbye, Charlotte," Engfa whispered, the rain outside drowning out the unspoken words, the words of what could have been, but never was. She didn't move, couldn't move. As the door shut behind Charlotte, a single tear escaped, tracing a cold path down Engfa's cheek. The bitterness in her mouth turned metallic, the taste of a love she couldn't have, a love that was perhaps too sweet for a world like theirs.