There's No Way (JenLisa)

4: With The Way That We're Looking At Each Other

Even if Jennie couldn't actually hear the words from the other line, she's pretty sure Lisa was getting yelled at by the person she was speaking with.

"Try to calm down, Honey. I said I can explain everything. Everything! I'll be there in twenty minutes and we will talk, okay? Okay?" The vein on Lisa's neck was popping out, as she exasperatedly talked on the phone.

Jennie scoffed while sitting at the breakfast nook, Lisa was standing at the opposite corner of the room. Among all of her friends, Lisa was the only one who never asked her opinion or advice when it comes to relationships or matters of the heart. Even Jisoo, the ever logical one seeks Jennie's advice about her love life. Lisa has never done that. She resolved her problems on her own. Well, come to think of it, given that there was a time that Lisa was harboring feelings for her, that could have been awkward, right?

But still even with the years of friendship, the Thai has always been private with her feelings (confession-laughing fiasco aside). Well, there was that time Lisa came out to them sophomore year college, with a casual "I'm dating girls..." but that was that.

Maybe that's also the reason why she finds Lisa easiest to get along with. She doesn't really need to worry about her as much. She can sometimes worry and acts as a mother hen to Jisoo and her other friends, but with Lisa she can just be her. They're both independent individuals who cares about each other, with equal footing friendship.

Though... if Lisa was more open, she could have recognized the Thai's infatuation sooner. Would knowing about Lisa's feelings before could've change anything? Maybe. Maybe not. She's not really sure.

Jennie's never really given any comment about Lisa's love life. Last night was just an exception. And if truth be told, she really didn't know what came over her. She had been so set on getting rid of Honey that she abandoned all rules of friendship. Considering they were trying to renew their friendship, Jennie knew she had overstepped, big time. Although Lisa was being a good sport about it, Jennie knew she was also affected. She knows, because she's affected too. What are the odds that she was the only one who felt troubled after that kiss?

A kiss was just not a kiss.

She doesn't know what others beliefs are, but for Jennie, a kiss was an indication of an attraction. And last night, while staring at Lisa's living room ceiling (she crashed at the Thai's place and slept at the couch) she was bothered by those thoughts. Attraction. Was it possible that there was underlying attraction between Lisa and her? Or more importantly, does she have any feelings for the Thai more than platonically?

Jennie thought about Lisa and their kiss as she tossed and turned on the huge cream-colored couch. By dawn, she was so desperate for sleep and some peace of mind. In able for her to achieve that and a few hours of shut eye, she needed to stop debating with herself and admit the truth that-yes, she feels some teeny-tiny weenie, definitely non-platonic attraction for Lisa. Maybe that was normal? The kiss was so hot. It's not like she was not open to liking another female. On contraire, she has always been partial with pretty girls than good-looking boys. But she was not going to jump ahead and label herself or anything just yet. She'd only kissed one girl and it's Lisa. Lisa-who confessed to her seven months ago and she accidentally laughed on her face-Lisa. Lisa who was gorgeous, smart and her friend. Okay... fine, she's kinda attracted to Lisa, but maybe it was just part of liking the Thai so much as a friend and she was just reading so much into things.

She only got two hours sleep. Her head started to pound into her skull. Earlier, she stirred from sleep when she heard Lisa walking at the kitchen. She didn't rouse from lying at the couch and tried forcing her eyes to rest more. But after getting a whiff of coffee, it was a lost battle, she got up and followed the intoxicating smell of freshly brewed arabica beans.