❝𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐀❞ ━ TREECH

50. survivor's guilt

"You're awake?" June murmurs against his skin. When he hums, he hears her swallow. "Can't sleep?"

"No, I'm tired," he says quietly. "Just... Just thinkin', I guess."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks, lifting her head to blink up at him. He smiles at her tired expression and tucks her head against his chest. "I'm serious. I'm here for you."

"I know that," he rasps. "I just can't get my brain to shut up. It's a mess in here."

June blinks, forcing her mind to awaken to the best of her ability. Although strained from sleep and exhaustion, she rubs her eye and rests her chin on his chest. "Then we'll sort it out a bit," she offers, her hand reaching up to brush his curls out of his face. "Just talk about whatever comes to mind."

"I was just... wondering, I guess. How you're holding up and all," he says after a moment of silence. He absent-mindedly brushes a finger over her cheek. "You like it here?"

"So far, yes," June tells him honestly. She shifts slightly. "I mean, everybody has been very kind to me. And everything around us is so... alive, you know? It's never really quiet. I like that."

Treech raises his eyebrows for a moment when he hears that. Out of all things, that's not the first thing that would've come to his mind. "You think so? Nights in the zoo were quiet, but in the arena... He trails off and clears his throat. "I don't know. Every little noise woke me right up, even if it was just a rat."

"I'm sure it did. When you're already feeling anxious, every little noise can set you off," she says. "I haven't been in your shoes, but I know what that's like, at least. It's enough to make you think you're losing your mind."

"That's exactly what it felt like," he agrees softly, relieved to hear that he doesn't sound crazy. "But right now, my mind just won't give me a rest. When I hear somethin', it just brings me right back. And I'm tired, so it's not that I'm not tryin' or that I don't want to."

"I think your mind hasn't fully grasped that you're at home yet and that you're safe. It'll take a while," she says. "You had trouble falling asleep even when we were at the hospital. Your body is still in survival mode; that's not going to go away for a while."

He sighs. "I wish it did. It's gettin' on my nerves," he grumbles. "You're all cozy, though, aren't you? You were out like a light before I even knew what was happening."

Her eyes soften. "I'm sorry. Did you want me to stay awake longer?" she asks, already moving to sit up. But he doesn't let her, and his arm wraps around her waist to keep her in place. She blinks in surprise but then smiles. "But to answer your question: yes, it's lovely. I feel very comfortable here."

"It's not too... I don't know, too country bumpkin-y for you?" he retorts, a light smile tugging at his lips. "I mean, you're used to things being a lot different. It's worth living here; just a lot harder, I guess."

"That sounds like you're trying to make me reconsider," she jokes, and smiles as well when he breathes out a laugh. "Different isn't always bad. And I can tell that being here is already good for you as well. You're a lot more comfortable now, I suppose."

She clears her throat. "I mean, I'm not saying you were ever really tense around me, but... when we were having dinner together... I don't know. I've never seen you that calm before," she explains gingerly, reaching up to caress his cheek with the back of her hand. "You even speak differently sometimes," she adds to let him know she picked up on the slight accent.

"Guess I was just trying to impress you, sunshine. I know you wouldn't think of me that way, but I was worried I'd come off as some hick lumberjack from some backwater District," he half-jokes. His eyes crinkle when he smiles, and he brushes his lips over her knuckles. "When you talk, it's like you thought about everything you were about to say. I know you're very smart and all, but... I guess sometimes it just reminds me of how different we are."