~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟏𝟒. Pizza and horror

T.W. talk about self harm, self hatred, starvation, eating disorder, fluff, nicknames, panic attack.

1340 words

(It looks worse than it is.)

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The triplets decided that they deserved a break because of all that's been happening and their mental health punching them in the face every five minutes. They were settled on the couch for the last three days, doing nothing more than watching movies and cuddling with each other.

But when they were inseparable from each other for the past days. They couldn't help but notice things about Matt's eating habits. Like the way he looks at his lunch or the fact that he tried to get out of breakfast today. They obviously knew Matt had problems with food, self image, and self harm. But they kinda thought the food problems were over after the morning he broke down. Which obviously doesn't make sense if you really think about it.

Matt starved himself for four days then. And you'll realize that starving is also a form of self harm. That when Matt isn't allowed to cut, he tries to please himself in another way. But before they went to their parents Matt ate good, great actually. Maybe too great because now that I think about it, Nick did walk in on Matt grabbing loads and loads of food the other day.

But now Matthew looks at the food like it was going to attack him. Like it'll kill him even. while it actually does the complete opposite.

"Matt?" Nick asks. "You okay? You're looking at that food like it'll blow up any second." Matt's eye flick up to Nicks face. Nicks worried gaze meets his while he places their pizza on the coffee table. Matt slowly removes his hand from Chris' hair, where he has been massaging the younger's scalp.

"Yeah, I'm good." Matt sighs as he leans into the couch again and pulls a sleeping Chris further in his arms. "He's adorable." Nick laughs softly while ruffling his hand through Chris's hair for a moment. Matt breaks out in a laugh too and looks down at the sleeping boy in his arms, face relaxed, hair messed up.

Chris had been tired, he's been sleeping a lot the last few days. He was exhausted from his emotions and thoughts. Every chance he got he'd been sleeping in Nick or Matt's arms. But they didn't mind it. Matt enjoys it actually. The peaceful feeling of Chris leaning onto him, finding comfort in the warmth of his presence and the sound of his soft snores while he hides his face in Matt's chest.

"What movie do we want to watch next?" Nick exclaims in the hope he'd wake Chris up. Chris only stirs and wraps his arms around Matt while whining slightly.

"You're an asshole Nick." Matt laughs while petting Chris on the head. Nick only shrugs and flops down on the couch next to Matt.
"Can we watch a horror movie?"
Nick asks excitedly. "Nick you don't even like horror movies."

"Yes I do!" Nick yells defensively. "Whatever, fine." Matt sighs as Nick takes a slice of pizza from the box. He looks at Chris again and slightly shakes the boys shoulder while pushing his hair back. "Chrissy, we got pizza for you sweetheart." Nick whispers sweetly.

Chris stirs again and turns on his back, accidentally pushing his elbow in Matt's stomach which makes him let out a choked gasp. "Chris!" Matt grunts out. That does wake Chris up and he opens his eyes. Muttering a soft "sorry." While giggling lightly. "Idiot." Matt says.

"Are you hungry peebee?" Nick asks while holding a slice of pizza under Chris's nose teasingly.

Chris snatches the pizza out of Nicks hand and sits up while sticking his tongue out to him. He looks at television realizing a horror movie is ready to play. "Nick! Are you serious? You know how scared Matt is for horror movies." He exclaims. "I'm not!" Matt whines. "Whatever Matt." Chris responds, pushing Matt's head away while stuffing his mouth with pizza.

But Chris's gaze changes when he realizes there's only two pieces gone out of the pizza. And Matt doesn't look like he's going to take a one. "Matt, why aren't you eating yet?" Chris asks. Gaze softening at seeing his brother's eyes change into fear. "I- uhm.." Matt starts. "I have a stomachache.." He lies.

"Bullshit!" Chris shouts angrily. "If you had a stomachache you would've reacted way less dramatic when I elbowed you!"

Unfortunately for Matt, Chris knows him like the back of his hand. And so he knows that if Matt is sick, or in pain, he always hides it as best he can. So what Chris had said was indeed true.

Matt stays quiet at that, not knowing another excuse. He only looks at the people in front of him. Both of his brothers looking worried.

"Matt, you also tried to get out of breakfast this morning.. what's going on with you bubba?" Nick asks, meeting his worried eyes with Matt's. "Is it your mind? Are the voices getting louder?" Chris asks, knowing Matt's thoughts can get overwhelming and mean sometimes. Matt hesitates before nodding and unintentionally starting to tear up. He immediately fights back his tears and takes a deep shaky breath, pulling himself together. They both give Matt a sympathetic look and pull him in for a hug.

"Just eat one piece Matt, you don't even have to eat the crust. Just eat." Nick smiles as they pull away. Its quiet for a minute before Matt speaks again. "Okay." He whispers softly and breaks out in a smile. This time Matt pulls them in for a hug.
"I love you two." He says.

Chris and Nick exchanged a look before smiling back and saying, "love you more Matty."

And Matt did what he said he would. He ate an entire piece of pizza and Nick and Chris had never been prouder of him. After that they played the horror movie. Chris sitting close to Matt again as he knows his brother is scared of horror even though he denies it himself.

But when the movie just started Chris fell asleep on Matt's chest and Nick was really caught up in the movie. Matt tried to stay still because he didn't want to wake Chris, but he couldn't help but jump or shake when there was a scary part.

When halfway through the movie Matt was starting to get scared, and even though his brothers were both really close he was starting to get uncomfortable. His whole body began shaking. Not dramatically, just like when you get cold. Sweat begins forming on his whole body and his chest aches slightly. He tries to focus on Chris's body in his arms, and begins taking deep breaths, but when there was a heavy jumpscare again, Matt's whole body jumped and he let out a soft whimper.

Nick didn't realize it but Chris woke up slowly from the sudden movement and the noise. Chris isn't a light sleeper, so it's kind of weird that he woke up from the slight changes, but it doesn't matter to him because when he woke up and noticed the body under him being unnaturally hot and shaky he realized that Matt was indeed freaking out over the movie.

He slowly gets up and turns to see Matt trying to hide his terrified face. Chris gives him an upside down smile and pulls him in a tight hug. Matt gratefully wraps his arms around Chris and buries his head in his shoulder for a second before taking a deep breath again. "You're okay." Chris whispers soothingly.

He leans back into the couch and pulls Matt close to his chest, holding him tight and protectively wrapping his arms around him while gently striking his cheek. Matt leans into the younger's touch slightly and focuses on Chris's fingers on his cheek. He relaxes his body and allows himself to fall asleep slowly.

Right before the darkness meets him he can hear Chris whispering, a soft, "I love you." In his ear.