THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 22: Loop Twelve, II

His heartbeat was accelerating, running wild. It intimidated you to have your hands press down on such a vulnerable spot on his body. You wanted it protected at all times.

Eren stared at you, his mouth dry. He had no idea why, but he was embarrassed that you had to see him like this.

You dared not to meet his pupils. His breath, slow and ragged exhales, hit your cheek as he gazed at you with half-lidded wanting. You slid your middle finger underneath the hem of his shirt to hold it up. Your hand was now so near to touching him that he couldn't see your face without craning his neck down—but he could feel the pressure, feather-light, as your flesh met his. Eren inhaled, and your eyes flickered up to him.

At that moment, Eren saw many things in your despaired eyes. A thousand moments, converging into one look.

"[Name]," Hange said. "You're supposed to do it from the back."

"What?" you and Eren asked in unison.

"The back," Moblit repeated for them. "You're supposed to press the stethoscope on his back, not his front."

"Right," you said, your face burning. You couldn't look at him.

"But the front works too," said Moblit. "It's alright. As long as the BPM data is accurate."

You tore your hands away and removed the stethoscope. The bell fell into Eren's lap, and you yanked it away before stuffing it into your bag. Your face was a straight line, not caring, not willing to reveal anything.

"111 beats per minute," you said stiffly.

"That's an above-average heart rate, Eren," said Hange, concerned. They turned to him. "Are you sure you're alright? Your heart is suddenly beating really fast."

"M'fine," he mumbled.

God, he was such an idiot! You were going to think he was a weirdo for this, for sure. He could see it in your eyes: that you knew why his heart was racing upon your proximity, and you were uncomfortable with it. You were just a random Scout he barely knew, why was he getting worked up over you at all!?

You were only ever Moblit's assistant, charged to conduct science experiments. Like Eren was an irrelevant specimen; a reminder that you saw him as nothing more than a creature to be observed. He involuntarily hunched when he thought about it like it was a weight.

Hange approached him with a medicine cup in their hands. "Take this sleep syrup, Eren. It'll help you with your anxiety."

Eren nodded and looked away, his humiliation deepening. He was regretful that you had to hear that, as though he was a child who was constantly seized by night terrors.

"We need to record some of your nightmares, too," said Moblit. He gestured to you. "My assistant is a very brilliant scientist, and she believes that doing so will allow her to draw sleep waves from your brain."

That was a lie. You had only said that because you wanted to know if your plan was working, and if anything had changed in Eren's head.

"Um... alright," said Eren. "I often dream about my memories, but that's about it."

"Good memories?" Hange pressed. "Bad memories?"

"Uh... I don't even know if they're real, but they're good, I guess. Happy memories."

"Of what?"

A scenario abruptly flashed through Eren's mind like someone had flicked a resplendent light into his retinas. In the scenario, he was with you. He made the connection: you looked just like the girl he dreamed about.