Love Lace

ii. Insania

SOREN

MEETING people was always a curious series of events, most often turned unfortunate and mundane. The childlike wonder of knowing there were others out in the world had fizzled out long ago, dying like a flame in the wind the moment he actually began to meet other people. No one lived up to the tales he had read about, no ever dazzled him with knowledge like he had dreamed.

With expectations being crumbled at the ripe age of six years old, the Earth turned more slowly yet fast all at once. Making life boring yet impending, whispering death around empty corners and threatening that he would be forgotten like everyone else. It didn't matter what the bishops and priests told him. It didn't matter that there might have been a God to watch over him. It didn't matter that this celestial being had a plan for him and that there was an afterlife.

Soren Laurier was terrified of dying.

Society would call this fear ridiculous, given he was only twenty four years old. He had his whole life ahead of him, he shouldn't worry and he should enjoy his time on the lonely rock humanity called home. But the panic that gripped his heart was enough to shatter any rationality. It was enough to turn his nights into restless episodes of mania. Morphing into an obsession that led him to places no man should dare to go. Places that would make even a God incapable of forgiveness.

Not that he was asking for it.

His eyes slated to Diana for what felt like the hundredth time that night, watching as she desperately tried to hide her disgust as she drank a martini and talked about who knew what to Antony. He had hardly been paying attention to what Olive was saying, mostly rambling her disapproval of allowing Miss Hart to join their group. Chatting about how she wasn't smart enough.

Soren took out the olive from his martini and bit into it, his teeth making the fruit rip apart in a satisfying snap. "Aren't you only here because of money, Miss Wimbleton?" He should've kept the words to himself, but the girl drove him mad with boredom, so much so that he couldn't help getting amusement at the sight of her scrambling for a response.

The brunette settled for crossing her arms, her pretty features lost on him due to her mind not making up for the rest. "Most of us here are from money, I don't think it's something to be ashamed of." She stuck her pert nose up in the air before storming off, pushing people as she did so and he sighed in relief.

Despite her show of frustration, Olive always hovered around him as if he was her center of gravity. A custom that had soured quickly on the tongue and he often fantasized about finding her dead somewhere before his mind quickly wandered off to more important things. Like now, his eyes dashed over to Diana again only to no longer find her sitting, but walking into the room with her arm looped through Antony's. He was mumbling things as he passed people, making introductions. She was smiling stiffly and her martini hardly drank.

Soren pushed off the wall, not wanting to be so close to her again in such a short span of time. Her response had irked him for reasons he wasn't proud of. Hating how his fear controlled him like some crazed puppeteer who was obsessed with making a good show. We all burn, one way or another. He rolled his shoulders as he walked up the stairs, the piano music and conversation getting quieter as he did so.

The second floor of the house was reserved for society members, including himself. Their rooms were housed there, his own filled with nothing but papers, books, and a bed. The top floor was the library, due to its distance from the ground level it let the Earth quiet and always helped calm nerves. Which was why he kept climbing, skipping his room despite knowing he should sleep. He hadn't gotten much rest since he read Diana's thesis. Not that sleep was a companion of his in the first place, peace always eluded him.