Twisted Games(Ryeji ver)

YEJI[CHAPTER 40][M]

DON'T LOOK AT HER.
If I looked at her, I would lose it, and I was already half out of my mind. The stress, guilt, and exhaustion of the past four days had seeped into my bones, turning me into a walking zombie.

But I couldn't help myself. I looked. And my heart promptly splintered into even more pieces than it already had.

Ryujin stared at me, so still she could've passed for a statue had it not been for the pain flickering in her eyes.

"Had?" That calm, even tone never boded well.

"It was fun while it lasted." The words tasted bitter on my tongue, like poison pills of lies I fed myself to get through the next hour and possibly the rest of my life. "But
people know. Everyone's watching us. We can't continue whatever...this is."

"Fun." Still in that dangerously calm voice.

"Ryujin." I wrapped my arms tighter around myself. The hospital staff had set the temperature to a comfortable
seventy-three degrees, but my skin felt like ice beneath my palms. "Please don't make this any harder than it has to be." Please let my heart break in peace.

"The hell I won't." Her gray eyes had darkened to a near black, and a vein throbbed in her temple. "Tell me something, princess. Are you doing this because you want to, or because you feel like you have to?"

"I don't feel like I have to. I do have to!" Frustration seared through me, sharp and hot. Didn't she get it? "It's only a matter of time before the press confirms the allegations. Seoyeon and Beomgyu and my family already know. What do you think is going to happen once it's all out in the open?"

"Your Majesty!"

"Grandfather!" Sakura, Beomgyu, and Seoyeon rushed to Sunoo's side while I stood there, unable to move. I should join them. Make sure he was okay. But of course he wasn't okay. He'd just collapsed...because of me and what I said. Because I thought, for one second, I could have a semblance of control over my life. If he died, the last conversation we had would have been an argument.

"You will end the relationship and never see Ms. Shin again."

"No."

Something inside me shriveled into a husk.

"Yeji..." The sound of my name, deep and raw, scraped against my willpower, leaving dents in something that had never been
strong to begin with. Not when it came to her.

I closed my eyes, trying to find the cool, unshakable version of myself I presented to the public. The one who'd smiled through hours of standing and waving while my feet bled through my heels. The one who'd walked behind my father's casket and held back tears until I crumpled into a ball in the bathroom during the wake. But I couldn't. I'd never been able to hide who I truly was
from Ryujin.

I heard her walk toward me. Smelled that clean, cozy scent that had become my comfort scent over the years because it meant she was near and I was safe. I Felt her rub away a tear I hadn't even noticed had escaped with her thumb.
Don't look at him. Don't look at him.

"Princess, look at me." I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut tighter. My emotions formed a tight knot in my throat, making it near impossible to breathe.
"Yeji." Firmer this time, more commanding. "Look at me." I resisted for another minute, but the need to save myself
from further heartache paled compared to my need to soak in every last bit of Shin Ryujin I could. I looked at her.

Gray thunderstorms stared back at me, crackling with turmoil. "The mess with the pictures, we'll figure it out." She grasped my chin and rubbed her thumb over my bottom lip, her expression fierce. "I told you, you're mine, and I'm not letting you go. I don't care if the entire Eldorran military tries to drag me away." I wished it were that easy and I could sink into her faith, letting it sweep me away. But our problems went way beyond the pictures now.