𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐘 ᵇᵘᵈᵈⁱᵉ

twenty seven

But he also just wanted Buck to hold him and kiss him. He wanted to never speak again.

"I-I-I- uh-" Eddie tripped over his words as he continued to think, but nothing would come out of his mouth.

"Please eat something with me, i'm worried about you, baby," Buck said softly.

Eddie continued to stare at his eyes, searching them as he nodded and whispered out a barely audible, "O-Okay,"

It wasn't until Buck removed his hands from Eddie's face that the trance broke and he immediately started to feel bad.

"Evan i see him everywhere," He blurted out. Buck sighed and sat down, laying against the back of the couch. He patted his lap, "Come, lay down with me," He said softly.

Eddie laid his head on Bucks lap and propped his feet up on the couch. Buck pulled the throw blanket that  was on the back of the couch around Eddie's shoulders and began to stroke his hair.

"It's my fault. I told you everything was going to be fine that day instead of asking Bobby for the rest of the day off. I was a professional fighter for five years for fuck sake, why couldn't I fight him off?" Eddie cried softly has tears poured down the side of his face.

"Eddie, he held a gun too your head and told you he'd shoot you if you tried to. He pinned you down," Buck replied, twisting a small chunk of Eddie's hair on his finger.

"When he would finish he would tighten his grip on my throat til' I almost passed out. During the third time he said.." Eddie paused for a minute and took a deep breath, "He said that i was just what he needed. So perfect. He said he wishes he skipped you and came straight to me," Eddie held back a sob, but Buck let out a gasp.

"I'm sorry," Eddie whispered.

"Shut up. Continue." Buck replied. Eddie let out a small chuckle but it quickly went away.

"It was like he wanted to get caught. He wanted people to know. He forced it inside my mouth and forced me swallow, then he put the gun in my mouth. He—he put it inside me. Everything hurt so bad. I couldn't fully comprehend it. I just laid there, praying for it to be over and when it was, there was so much blood Evan, but i couldn't feel anything, like at all." Eddie cried, wiping away his tears.

"Oh, my baby. I'm so sorry," Buck whispered.

"I should've asked Bobby for the rest of the day off. Why didn't i? I deserved it. I'm so stupid," Eddie's eyes filled more, but he still controlled his sobs.

"Eddie. Don't do that. It is absolutely not your fault. I know how much it feels like it's your fault but it isn't and i know deep down you know that. It was his. He's disgusting." Buck reassured him and Eddie nodded as he set up.

"Why couldn't i fight back, it was just like i froze," Eddie whispered, looking at Buck. Buck sighed, grabbing his hands.

"It's normal. Your body is designed to keep you safe and your brain told you, that staying still and waiting for it to be over was the best thing for you." Buck told him softly, stroking the back of his hand.

"I was doing so good up until Josh brought it up. I've just wanted to die the last few days but I already feel so dead. I just want it to stop." Eddie told him, looking down.

"Don't look away. Look at me. My eyes." Buck used the trick from earlier and put his pointer finger and thumb on Eddie's chin, lifting his head.

"You may feel dead Eddie, but guess what." He said softly, removing his hand and going back to holding Eddie's.

Eddie look at his eyes and whispered a what.

"You survived." Buck smiled and it was like a flip switched in Eddie. Reality set in. He survived. Buck survived. they survived everything. Everything they survived made them who they are and led them to each other. They survived because of one another. The tears stopped flowing and he felt the corners of his mouth tug at his cheek.

"We survived." He smiled back, a smile that was finally able to meet his eyes. Eddie put both hands on Bucks cheek, caressing away any tears that were under Bucks eyes.

Eddie leaned in and gave him a long, soft and passionate kiss. Bucks hands found Eddie's waist and slid under his shirt, pulling him closer. He traced the scar on Eddie's side and Eddie smiled into the kiss.

Yes, Eddie started the kiss but he also pulled away first, unable to contain his sudden spurt of happiness.

"Marry me." He blurted out, looking into Bucks eyes the same way as before.

Buck starred at him for a moment before smiling once more. Tear developed but he wouldn't let himself cry. He nodded his head slowly and said, "Yes. Of course i'll marry you, Eddie. I love you." he smiled, leaning in once more.

"Yeah?" Eddie smiled.

"Yeah, but if anyone asks, i asked you. I plan on still doing it," Buck laughed a small laugh.

"Oh? Why's that?" Eddie asked

"I already bought you the ring." Buck smiled.