𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐘 ᵇᵘᵈᵈⁱᵉ

eleven

3-14-23

Buck sat on the floor in his and Eddie's bathroom.

considering he didn't have that much stuff at his house, he was pretty much almost done so he stayed with Eddie.

he held a lighter to his skin, just remembering the awful nightmare he had.

this time not about the attack. it was like his brain was worsening the small argument he and Eddie had a couple of days ago.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Evan, it's not a big deal that i slept on the couch last night," Eddie shouted at the man.

"i dropped it earlier because i didn't wanna make it a big deal! you kept nagging at me," Buck quietly defended himself as he looked down at his knees.

"you shouldn't have been upset by it in the first place," Eddie scoffed.

"i didn't wanna argue, Eddie. i was trying to get over it. i understood why you did it," Buck whispered, almost not audible but Eddie heard him.

he'd gotten used to Bucks mumbling to the point where he understood it.

"bullshit, if you understood, you wouldn't be upset,"

"i don't understand why you're so upset by it.. i wasn't trying to cause problems," Buck spoke up.

"that's all you do! you're exhausting. i cant even sleep at night because of you! we all have our own problems but you don't see us whining about it. no, somehow we manage to suck it up, why can't you!" Eddie yelled, slamming his fist into the wall, how he didn't wake the kids, neither of them knew.

Eddie immediately regretting saying this. he didn't mean not a word of it.

Eddie hadn't slept in over 24 hours, at all. that made him very irritable.

Buck flinched at Eddie's actions and the tears he'd been holding back the whole argument started falling.

"shit, Buck, i'm sorry," He immediately said, his expression becoming softer and he started walking over to Buck who was frozen on the bed.

"just—just stay there," Buck whispered.

"Buck, i didn't mean it," Eddie started defending himself.

"you did. i know you're tired, Eddie, i'm sorry. You asked me to move in, you told me to stay here when i told you i was going to stay at my house for a few days. so do not put this all on me," Buck said, still refusing to make eye contact , or even lift his head.

after a moment of silence, Buck stood up, kissing Eddie goodnight. Eddie went to put a hand up to Evans face as instinct but Buck flinched and immediately stepped away from Eddie.

"i'm going home for a few days. End of discussion," Buck said as he walked out of the room.

Buck just wanted to feel and remember anything else.

anything other than Eddie not trusting him around the kids, Eddie being exhausted because of his nightmares.

the fact that Athena still hasn't been able to find John Kelly, or his daughter.

so he burned his flesh.

he burned it til it blistered.

he burned it until he couldn't hold in his screams anymore.

he let out a loud whimper, immediately covering his mouth but it was too late.

a couple seconds later he heard Eddie at the door.